Imagine being 11 and almost being 6' tall. Gangly as all get out, red hair, freckles and a southpaw. Mr Popular with the girls I was not until I put some weight on thanks to working (rather: being worked) hard every summer at the grandparents. Their generation went to school for sixe years and then started working at age 12.
On the other hand, being 16 and looking like 20 or so had its advantages as the state's alcohol monopoly limits sale to people of age 20 and above.
It's weird. When I grew up, at age 15 you could own and drive a moped light motorcycle capable of doing 50kmh, no license. Age 16 you could marry. Age 18 you got the vote, was considered a legal adult and could be conscripted for military training for up to three years depending on branch and unit. And you could go to the pub and drink.
But for the state's alcohol stores, you have to be 20 - so you're considered mature enough to be in the Home Guard and keep an AK-47 plus ammo at home but you can't buy booze.
Nanny State Logic at its finest.
Oh, and the legal age limit for sex is 15. And the law is written in such a way that if two underage teens are caught doing it, both will be up on charges even if it is perfectly consensual.
I was so gangly I started hunching and slouching until grandma said if'n I didn't stop, she'd tie a skewer to my back to force to stand straight.
I think she was kidding?
On the other hand, my other grandma tried to cure dad's wingnut ears by taping then to his head when he was a kid. Plus side, he got real good at schoolyard fighting.
I was about 16. This was pretty normal in developed nations for a loooong time, especially for girls, before the presence of hormones in animal-based foods.
When I was in high school, a girl getting her period at 9 would have been seen as a major medical anomaly.
Holy hell! How many calories a day were you putting away to fuel that?
My dad was apparently a late grower too. He was very small until his sophomore year of college, wrestling at like 100 lbs or so through high school. He often would note that at ~13 years I was bigger than he was in college. Then he shot up something like 4-5" by the time he graduated, hitting 6'1.
I did similar, although I was always bigger, but plateaued at 5'10" until the middle of college when I hit 6' even. By comparison, my nephew at 13 can already wear my cloths from when I graduated, being just over 5'11. Which is really funny, since I am ~6-8" taller than my sister, and a good bit taller than my brother in law, and the kid hardly eats anything. He either photosynthesizes, or is a changeling perhaps.
Wow. Similar to your dad. I wrestled 98 lbs freshman year had to put keys in my underwear to meet the minimum of 95 lbs. 103lbs sophomore year. 112lbs junior. 167 lbs senior year.
I was 185lbs when I started college
My parents couldn't keep enough food on the house. My brother who's 3 years younger hit puberty at the same.
Gluttony; like eating an entire box of oreos with half a gallon of milk an hour after eating two servings of dinner.
Oct 7, 2022·edited Oct 7, 2022Liked by Guttermouth
Nope, not sharing that. That part is too private.
I'll offer an anecdote as a token instead:
Once there was this guy named Joakim, commonly referred to as "Jocke 95". He worked at a plant where they made various chemicals, additives and stuff, for other industries. The nickname was because he'd sometimes pilfer 95% proof alcohol and sell it on the cheap without diluting it.
Anyway, Jocke 95 was a much appreciated friend of a friend of mine from the Deep South of Sweden, Malmö in Scania. (This will be important later.) So this guy, Malcolm by name, a square built guy with a perpetual grin on his face, came up with the idea of doing something nice and funny for Jocke 95 when the latter's 20th birthday rolled 'round.
Now, the idea sounded good when he first mentioned it: buy an inflatable sex doll (just to add a time stamp, the Berlin Wall was still up) and dress it up in cheapo lingerie from the used clothing store. However, when the four of us having decided on this plan found ourselves standing outside the porn shoppe, well... You could have mistaken us for stop-lights. The store didn't go for the "discreet" style, quite the opposite.
Now, Scania in Sweden has a unique dialect, not resembling main swedish at all. Think of the difference between really heavy "southern drawl" and mid-Atlantic pronounciation in american english. Also, the scanian dialect automatically sounds coarse and uncouth and in-your-face due to it being spoken at the back of the throat and with heavy diphthongs (which swedish ptherwise lacks).
So Malcolm, wearing a black leather blazer, black leather pants, DMs, and black leather gloves of the kind with small sand filled studs on the knuckles hoists his belt, cracks open his grin ear to ear, and saunters into the store with the rest of us trailing like Dewey Louie and Huey playing truant.
The store owner manning the till was so much a stereotype that today people would think he was putting on an act. Short nicotine-dripping stump of a smoldering cigar in the side of his mouth, a food and coffee-stained worn out wife-beater with his gnarly whitish chest hair sticking out through, blue jeans with the legs cut off so high up the pocket are hanging out, and socks with suspenders, and patent leather shoes.
"Yeah? What can I do you for?"
Imagine this in the deepest, heaviest deep south US dialect (or geordie for Britain):
"I want a negro fuck doll! That one suits my fancy!"
I laugh and blush to this day, thinking about that.
Oct 7, 2022·edited Oct 7, 2022Liked by Guttermouth
First time I asked a girl if I could put my arm around her shoulders, I almost passed out from holding my breath. Probably sounded like I'd been inhaling helium too.
Luckily, she found it much sweeter and nicer than how most of the other guys in the same circle of friends behaved:
"So, you wanna f*ck? C'mon, why not? Don't be like that! F*cking lesbo whore"
When that's the control-group, even someone more shy than Dumbo can be Casanova.
No, seriously. I absolutely like men for what they are. How the hell else can you truly like something?
My most enduring friends- the only ones that have survived from my school years- are men.
I can't say for certain whether or not I'm a minority, but I do know I'm not alone, and those of us who do like men are deeply concerned for the place society has for men and boys.
It is a reckoning we will need to have, and every woman with men or boys in their lives that they love will need to speak up about it.
I know you're relatively new to my Stack, but I've peppered such sentiments here and thereabouts.
Well, since you asked (by which I mean you know exactly how to goad a man into doing something silly and stupid like sharing much too personal details):
Doing it outdoors is common here, especially in summer.
I've learned and thing or two from personal sexperience:
If it's a fenced field, check to see that there are no cows or bulls there. Doing the deed, feeling all romantic and the birds are singing and the sun is making everything beautiful and then a cow licks your crack of doom spoils the mood. Instant sex change almost.
So, always check first for signs of wildlife.
Don't lean on the fence. When things are getting to a point and one of you touches the live wire... well, it's surely someone's fetish but it ain't mine!
This may not be a "safe" space but it's sure as hell one where no one's gonna judge anyone else on any variety of misspent youthdom. Not to be presumptuous of course, but still.
Thank you so much for acknowledging the incredibly important difference between so-called "safe spaces" and social spaces where people can openly share themselves.
It's funny but while Americans are always mocked for being presumably too Puritanical (though as I've learned, the Puritans loved sex but demanded it be licit), we tend to be over-sharers too.
I was 18, although I voted Steve Gutenberg. Prom weekend, what a classic! But I did it with a trusted friend. That said, it was boring because the guy was...how can I put this diplomatically? Hmmm... his movements were that of a man with a tree log between his legs instead of what was actually there, which was a twig. Now I'm not size-shaming guys, BUT you gotta approach things differently...when that's what you're working with.
Yeah, I'd make the same choice all over again. Glad it was merely boring and that I have a funny story to tell about my first time. There's obviously more details to it and parts that don't translate well to text.
I am probably in a small minority of women who would admit it out loud, but in terms of practical results, I have never been greatly concerned with size (and I actually mean that). In fact, there is definitely such a thing as too big for me, but I've never seen size matter more than technique or foreplay.
I hope this helps some guys...but for many of us gals...there IS such a thing as too big.
Not my first, but my second, was a dear sweet guy...who was so large -flaccid- that he had to bend himself in half to fit himself in his jeans.
I never was crude enough go measure. Bug he had to be 12-13 erect. It wasn't at ALL comfortable, despite him being very thoughtful...and as he told me...ig was frustrating for him because he never got to seat himself fully. He'd bottom out before he buried himself fully.
I'd much rather a man who used all of his tools wisely, and enjoyed his partner.
I can imagine a guy being SO small that it could be a problem, but that's an end of the spectrum that I never encountered and imagine it being pretty rare, like a medical condition.
I have had the same exact too big problem you describe.
Smaller guys I've been with nearly always made up for it with technique (necessity breeds something or other), and being comfortable added a lot to the experience for me.
I had a boyfriend once, big Pukhtoon guy who looked like Freddie Prinze Sr., 6'4" and burly everywhere but in his equipage. He had a charm against the evil eye tied to it and either it hadn't worked at all or had prevented further shrinkage. Mystery to be sure.
This guy's foreplay was AMAZING! But the main event... And when I say he's small I mean, about the size of an OB tampon and I'm not even exaggerating. I think the main issue was inexperience.
Haha, yes that fits perfectly. It wasn't his first time since he'd already had a sexual relationship with his ex-girlfriend who was a year ahead of us. Since she never said anything he never thought to recalibrate the handling of his tools. But then, neither did I so...😐
I mentioned in a previous comment, he was the size of an OB tampon. I'd been using regular-sized tampons (larger than OB tampons inn case you're confused) since I was 14.
To further clear things up, his index and middle fingers were longer than his member. Unfortunately, I won't be able to produce Bloody Sheets of Proof or a doctor's statement that I had a proper in-tact hymen at the time. But, again as I mentioned in a previous comment, he was very good with foreplay so I wasn't tense during intercourse, I was well-lubricated, so there was no pain and vaginal canal was ready to receive, as it were.
I really enjoyed reading the comments, I was just eighteen, living on the beach, surfing everyday, being a bum. (But I actually worked a real job, forty hours a week.). Mine was the house on the beach where everyone came after the morning surf, banana pancakes were quite popular. We had surf bunnies, and at eighteen one seems to need to get laid. I was a shy kid, and didn't realize that they probably knew I was a virgin. Anyway, it happened, and it seemed rather desperate, and was not enjoyable. It took me a few years to find a woman that made intimacy a comfortable thing.
I gave it the old High school try, but was told "No" several times. Which in hindsight was a good thing.
Once I found the love of my life, sex was great. It has been a wonderful RIDE(pun intended) for 52 years. We complet each other. I feel bad for folks who have never experienced this kind of joy.
18+ ...my first true boyfriend, whom I made wait until we were engaged before giving it up.
We were engaged for years, and thankfully he hurt me enough to have me leave before I actually married the loser.
Am I a bad person for having no sympathy for the man who left me for a 16 year old? " She's so mature for her age!" Who begged to cone back after he became addicted to meth?
Maybe...yet here I am.
Also for discussion...not all women become frigid after marriage. To have a higher sex drive than your husband is...frustrating. I'm totally ok to be " permanently separated ". At least I no longer care about not being " enough".
"Forgiveness" is in general a scam. The only important rule is to not eat your own guts because of what someone else did. Well-aimed hatred is a fine useful emotion.
I'm currently trying to be " the better person " while watching my husband be a dick. Not in the satisfactory way. Karma. I'm bout Karma...tho sometimes I'd like to be the Instrument of Karma. I have daydreams about that.
No. They don't. But that's why training is necessary. They operate on reward and punishment; they expect others to be easily manipulated and they feed off the emotions and vulnerabilities of others. You must remove those tender parts of yourself from the equation. You don't give a bad smart dog a second chance. It will soon learn there is always a consequence and it arrives immediately.
No. I was determined to get rid of it. And it was a shocker all right when my absolutely-the-deflowerer-to-make-my-family's-head explode insisted that we not continue to enjoy licentious freedom but get married instead.
First boyfriend, first sex, first husband all in one package. Economical fer shure.
Ahh ok. Is it reasonable to understand that as the virginity itself being of indifferent value, but the status markers losing it entailed being desirable? That is, if it was edgy and cool to remain a virgin, you would have chosen that instead?
(Just curious. For young guys as near as I can tell the goal of losing virginity is always instrumental in the act itself :) )
One of my HS friends had been deflowered, if I recall correctly, at 15 by her building super who would exit by the fire escape if anyone was entering by the door, and she and another friend, who hadn't been deflowered yet but did have an edgy not-quite-boyfriend she was besotted with, were girls I really admired as being everything I wasn't.
On the other hand my until-then best friend, from 5th grade, was extremely conservative in everything.
Funny thing is all three dropped me when I got married because I'd been more transgressive than anyone could've imagined.
When I decided to visit friend #2 despite not expecting to be much welcomed, but extremely curious because I'd had a dream where everyone I encountered was pregnant, I learned that she, and the first friend, were indeed so. She married the guy who died of alcoholism at 36. (Not the edgy first boyfriend but her second one.)
The first was sent to one of those unwed mothers' homes and gave away a son.
i was just 18 and the lady was 28, 5 times in one night. luckily she lived right above where i worked so i wasnt late, just too tired to do any actual work
Well, if you don’t count being raped by your (adoptive) father at age 11, I was just shy of 19. Didn’t trust men, but decided being celibate for the rest of my life wasn’t a good option. Sure had a hell of a good time once it was my choice and decided all men weren’t demonic assholes.🤪
17 and it was not mind blowing in any way. Prefer the foreplay, k? And someone who actually knows what he’s doing!
I’m a pastor’s kid and my mom tricked me into confessing that I’d lost my virginity. So my dad forced us all to go see a counsellor--after I was forbidden from seeing my bf anymore--then much to my dad’s anger, the counsellor seemed more on my side(!!!) and that was the one and only time we went!
It’s surprising I don’t have more sex-guilt than I do!
Late 30s post divorce was my real hey-dey. I think I let most of it go there 👏
I'll speak up (I'm new here) only because I think it may be of interest.
I was 29. Dated a girl from [FOREIGN COUNTRY REDACTED], and she asked me if American guys didn't like sex. So I had to give in.
Why did I wait so long? Combination of second wave feminism and 90s sexual harassment hysteria convincing me any kind of lustful thoughts or aggressive actions were evil, general shyness (I mean, that had to be in there), a general desire to wait for marriage due to a conservative streak despite being from a very left-leaning part of the country, being into nerd stuff back when that was a bigger disadvantage than it is now, and...I dunno. Somewhere in the back of my head I figured I was never going to find a woman who was into the same stuff I was into, and I wasn't cute enough to obtain casual sex, so I just...didn't bother? It's such an outlier you figure there must be a few different causes.
14, with a 24-year-old in her apartment on New Year's Eve. I guess I was raped, technically speaking. I didn't think to press charges, as I was busy selling dimebags and molly at the time.
19. Didn't hit puberty until I was 17.
Didn't stop me from "using" the bathroom every day directly after school.
Learned a lot in there; always left satisfied...until 4 hours later!
Did the opposite.
Imagine being 11 and almost being 6' tall. Gangly as all get out, red hair, freckles and a southpaw. Mr Popular with the girls I was not until I put some weight on thanks to working (rather: being worked) hard every summer at the grandparents. Their generation went to school for sixe years and then started working at age 12.
On the other hand, being 16 and looking like 20 or so had its advantages as the state's alcohol monopoly limits sale to people of age 20 and above.
It's weird. When I grew up, at age 15 you could own and drive a moped light motorcycle capable of doing 50kmh, no license. Age 16 you could marry. Age 18 you got the vote, was considered a legal adult and could be conscripted for military training for up to three years depending on branch and unit. And you could go to the pub and drink.
But for the state's alcohol stores, you have to be 20 - so you're considered mature enough to be in the Home Guard and keep an AK-47 plus ammo at home but you can't buy booze.
Nanny State Logic at its finest.
Oh, and the legal age limit for sex is 15. And the law is written in such a way that if two underage teens are caught doing it, both will be up on charges even if it is perfectly consensual.
Rikard. So crazy. But this is EXACTLY what I imagined you would be like.
All. Of. It.
I was so gangly I started hunching and slouching until grandma said if'n I didn't stop, she'd tie a skewer to my back to force to stand straight.
I think she was kidding?
On the other hand, my other grandma tried to cure dad's wingnut ears by taping then to his head when he was a kid. Plus side, he got real good at schoolyard fighting.
Ikr?
Totally!
Yikes! Puberty at 17?
I was about 16. This was pretty normal in developed nations for a loooong time, especially for girls, before the presence of hormones in animal-based foods.
When I was in high school, a girl getting her period at 9 would have been seen as a major medical anomaly.
I think there's even a difference between my age and yours G. And I bet I'm only 8 years older
Shit even 12. If a girl had boobs at 12 it was like she had horns sprouting from her head.
Yeah, this is VERY recent history.
When I lived in Japan- only 10 years ago now- puberty rates were still at 1940-60 US rates (average 16).
I'm 56. Having started to bloom in the 5th grade, you are quite right... tall, booby, and unhappily curvy.
People looked at me like I had horns AND a tail.
Yeah it SUCKED!
What's crazy is I started varsity in baseball and wrestling all 4 years. So basically I didn't shower after practice/games until I was a junior.
I wouldn't wish it on anyone.
Although my mother and grandmother started at 16.
Studies show the later you start puberty the longer you live.
Hope I didn't jinx myself.
Being a teenager sucks donkey balls in the first place without dealing with that little curveball.
The good news is puberty took all of three months. Grew 9 inches in 6 months!
Everyone thought I was going to be a short man. Ended up right at 6 foot.
I was the only person that "knew" i wasn't going to be short.
Holy hell! How many calories a day were you putting away to fuel that?
My dad was apparently a late grower too. He was very small until his sophomore year of college, wrestling at like 100 lbs or so through high school. He often would note that at ~13 years I was bigger than he was in college. Then he shot up something like 4-5" by the time he graduated, hitting 6'1.
I did similar, although I was always bigger, but plateaued at 5'10" until the middle of college when I hit 6' even. By comparison, my nephew at 13 can already wear my cloths from when I graduated, being just over 5'11. Which is really funny, since I am ~6-8" taller than my sister, and a good bit taller than my brother in law, and the kid hardly eats anything. He either photosynthesizes, or is a changeling perhaps.
Wow. Similar to your dad. I wrestled 98 lbs freshman year had to put keys in my underwear to meet the minimum of 95 lbs. 103lbs sophomore year. 112lbs junior. 167 lbs senior year.
I was 185lbs when I started college
My parents couldn't keep enough food on the house. My brother who's 3 years younger hit puberty at the same.
Gluttony; like eating an entire box of oreos with half a gallon of milk an hour after eating two servings of dinner.
9" in half a year? Talk about being on the rack! I've seen students put in growth spurts over the summer holidays but nothing even close to that.
The coaches from the other teams accused me if being on steroids. I shit you not
Omigosh....how pain ridden were you??
Nope, not sharing that. That part is too private.
I'll offer an anecdote as a token instead:
Once there was this guy named Joakim, commonly referred to as "Jocke 95". He worked at a plant where they made various chemicals, additives and stuff, for other industries. The nickname was because he'd sometimes pilfer 95% proof alcohol and sell it on the cheap without diluting it.
Anyway, Jocke 95 was a much appreciated friend of a friend of mine from the Deep South of Sweden, Malmö in Scania. (This will be important later.) So this guy, Malcolm by name, a square built guy with a perpetual grin on his face, came up with the idea of doing something nice and funny for Jocke 95 when the latter's 20th birthday rolled 'round.
Now, the idea sounded good when he first mentioned it: buy an inflatable sex doll (just to add a time stamp, the Berlin Wall was still up) and dress it up in cheapo lingerie from the used clothing store. However, when the four of us having decided on this plan found ourselves standing outside the porn shoppe, well... You could have mistaken us for stop-lights. The store didn't go for the "discreet" style, quite the opposite.
Now, Scania in Sweden has a unique dialect, not resembling main swedish at all. Think of the difference between really heavy "southern drawl" and mid-Atlantic pronounciation in american english. Also, the scanian dialect automatically sounds coarse and uncouth and in-your-face due to it being spoken at the back of the throat and with heavy diphthongs (which swedish ptherwise lacks).
So Malcolm, wearing a black leather blazer, black leather pants, DMs, and black leather gloves of the kind with small sand filled studs on the knuckles hoists his belt, cracks open his grin ear to ear, and saunters into the store with the rest of us trailing like Dewey Louie and Huey playing truant.
The store owner manning the till was so much a stereotype that today people would think he was putting on an act. Short nicotine-dripping stump of a smoldering cigar in the side of his mouth, a food and coffee-stained worn out wife-beater with his gnarly whitish chest hair sticking out through, blue jeans with the legs cut off so high up the pocket are hanging out, and socks with suspenders, and patent leather shoes.
"Yeah? What can I do you for?"
Imagine this in the deepest, heaviest deep south US dialect (or geordie for Britain):
"I want a negro fuck doll! That one suits my fancy!"
I laugh and blush to this day, thinking about that.
I love how you can happily regale us with tales of bloody combat but lock down like a bank vault when asked about virginity.
Guys are such wonderful contradictions. They're like a dirty limerick that somehow makes you cry.
First time I asked a girl if I could put my arm around her shoulders, I almost passed out from holding my breath. Probably sounded like I'd been inhaling helium too.
Luckily, she found it much sweeter and nicer than how most of the other guys in the same circle of friends behaved:
"So, you wanna f*ck? C'mon, why not? Don't be like that! F*cking lesbo whore"
When that's the control-group, even someone more shy than Dumbo can be Casanova.
Yeah, why do guys say shit like that? 'Cause, Lord knows, being called names would make me want to put out.
They aren't saying it for the woman. They are saying it for their real or imagined/internal male audience.
Always to their own great detriment.
Pussy.
No, seriously. I absolutely like men for what they are. How the hell else can you truly like something?
My most enduring friends- the only ones that have survived from my school years- are men.
I can't say for certain whether or not I'm a minority, but I do know I'm not alone, and those of us who do like men are deeply concerned for the place society has for men and boys.
It is a reckoning we will need to have, and every woman with men or boys in their lives that they love will need to speak up about it.
I know you're relatively new to my Stack, but I've peppered such sentiments here and thereabouts.
That's all you got for us?
Well, since you asked (by which I mean you know exactly how to goad a man into doing something silly and stupid like sharing much too personal details):
Doing it outdoors is common here, especially in summer.
I've learned and thing or two from personal sexperience:
If it's a fenced field, check to see that there are no cows or bulls there. Doing the deed, feeling all romantic and the birds are singing and the sun is making everything beautiful and then a cow licks your crack of doom spoils the mood. Instant sex change almost.
So, always check first for signs of wildlife.
Don't lean on the fence. When things are getting to a point and one of you touches the live wire... well, it's surely someone's fetish but it ain't mine!
This may not be a "safe" space but it's sure as hell one where no one's gonna judge anyone else on any variety of misspent youthdom. Not to be presumptuous of course, but still.
Thank you so much for acknowledging the incredibly important difference between so-called "safe spaces" and social spaces where people can openly share themselves.
Speaking of openly sharing themselves, your mom.
Now she was a woman who shared herself unwisely, for sure. But had she been smarter...
My mom got married because she was turned down to be a nun. We're probably at least tied.
Oh, I'm not afeared of being judged, no no that's not it.
I'm too shy when it comes to stuff like that!
Ohhh, that's the dinner bell! Gotta go!
It's funny but while Americans are always mocked for being presumably too Puritanical (though as I've learned, the Puritans loved sex but demanded it be licit), we tend to be over-sharers too.
That's very true.
Swedish media has flip-flopped over the years. From no sex and gratuitious dexcriptions of violence to the opposite, never passing any middle ground.
Public opinion is very much as it always was: don't rub others' faces in your dealings and dallyings, and keep it away from children.
"...a cow licks your crack of doom...."
"Instant sex change almost."
😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣
Thank-you, Rikard, that's the most I've laughed in ....forever!
I was 18, although I voted Steve Gutenberg. Prom weekend, what a classic! But I did it with a trusted friend. That said, it was boring because the guy was...how can I put this diplomatically? Hmmm... his movements were that of a man with a tree log between his legs instead of what was actually there, which was a twig. Now I'm not size-shaming guys, BUT you gotta approach things differently...when that's what you're working with.
😏
When in doubt, Steve Gutenberg. :)
Nice to hear from you.
A lot of the smarter girls in my high school went the "trusted friend" route, and I can't recall anyone that got a horror story out of it.
Yeah, I'd make the same choice all over again. Glad it was merely boring and that I have a funny story to tell about my first time. There's obviously more details to it and parts that don't translate well to text.
Brings a proverb to mind, does your words:
"A poor craftsman blames his tool"
By which I refer to the guy, just to be clear.
I very much agree.
I am probably in a small minority of women who would admit it out loud, but in terms of practical results, I have never been greatly concerned with size (and I actually mean that). In fact, there is definitely such a thing as too big for me, but I've never seen size matter more than technique or foreplay.
I hope this helps some guys...but for many of us gals...there IS such a thing as too big.
Not my first, but my second, was a dear sweet guy...who was so large -flaccid- that he had to bend himself in half to fit himself in his jeans.
I never was crude enough go measure. Bug he had to be 12-13 erect. It wasn't at ALL comfortable, despite him being very thoughtful...and as he told me...ig was frustrating for him because he never got to seat himself fully. He'd bottom out before he buried himself fully.
I'd much rather a man who used all of his tools wisely, and enjoyed his partner.
I can imagine a guy being SO small that it could be a problem, but that's an end of the spectrum that I never encountered and imagine it being pretty rare, like a medical condition.
I have had the same exact too big problem you describe.
Smaller guys I've been with nearly always made up for it with technique (necessity breeds something or other), and being comfortable added a lot to the experience for me.
I had a boyfriend once, big Pukhtoon guy who looked like Freddie Prinze Sr., 6'4" and burly everywhere but in his equipage. He had a charm against the evil eye tied to it and either it hadn't worked at all or had prevented further shrinkage. Mystery to be sure.
Lol....thst is my visual for the day!! Bwaaahaha...evil eyevtrinket. On his junk...lolol
This guy's foreplay was AMAZING! But the main event... And when I say he's small I mean, about the size of an OB tampon and I'm not even exaggerating. I think the main issue was inexperience.
Haha, yes that fits perfectly. It wasn't his first time since he'd already had a sexual relationship with his ex-girlfriend who was a year ahead of us. Since she never said anything he never thought to recalibrate the handling of his tools. But then, neither did I so...😐
If you were a virgin, how would you have known any different?
I mentioned in a previous comment, he was the size of an OB tampon. I'd been using regular-sized tampons (larger than OB tampons inn case you're confused) since I was 14.
To further clear things up, his index and middle fingers were longer than his member. Unfortunately, I won't be able to produce Bloody Sheets of Proof or a doctor's statement that I had a proper in-tact hymen at the time. But, again as I mentioned in a previous comment, he was very good with foreplay so I wasn't tense during intercourse, I was well-lubricated, so there was no pain and vaginal canal was ready to receive, as it were.
Are we clear now?
I like knowing you can take care of yourself in the face of novice-level nonsense.
*bows* Being a nerd pays off sometimes!
You good after that?
Crystal clear…poor guy.
I really enjoyed reading the comments, I was just eighteen, living on the beach, surfing everyday, being a bum. (But I actually worked a real job, forty hours a week.). Mine was the house on the beach where everyone came after the morning surf, banana pancakes were quite popular. We had surf bunnies, and at eighteen one seems to need to get laid. I was a shy kid, and didn't realize that they probably knew I was a virgin. Anyway, it happened, and it seemed rather desperate, and was not enjoyable. It took me a few years to find a woman that made intimacy a comfortable thing.
I gave it the old High school try, but was told "No" several times. Which in hindsight was a good thing.
Once I found the love of my life, sex was great. It has been a wonderful RIDE(pun intended) for 52 years. We complet each other. I feel bad for folks who have never experienced this kind of joy.
18+ ...my first true boyfriend, whom I made wait until we were engaged before giving it up.
We were engaged for years, and thankfully he hurt me enough to have me leave before I actually married the loser.
Am I a bad person for having no sympathy for the man who left me for a 16 year old? " She's so mature for her age!" Who begged to cone back after he became addicted to meth?
Maybe...yet here I am.
Also for discussion...not all women become frigid after marriage. To have a higher sex drive than your husband is...frustrating. I'm totally ok to be " permanently separated ". At least I no longer care about not being " enough".
"Forgiveness" is in general a scam. The only important rule is to not eat your own guts because of what someone else did. Well-aimed hatred is a fine useful emotion.
A thousand times this.
I'm currently trying to be " the better person " while watching my husband be a dick. Not in the satisfactory way. Karma. I'm bout Karma...tho sometimes I'd like to be the Instrument of Karma. I have daydreams about that.
Lol.
There's a difference between being "the better person" and taking necessary action.
Handy training hint: Certain people, you've got to approach them the way you would with a very intelligent dog. Emotion and reason are useless.
"No!"
"Stop!"
Or you crate them, however that ought to be interpreted.
Narcissists don't understand that either.
No. They don't. But that's why training is necessary. They operate on reward and punishment; they expect others to be easily manipulated and they feed off the emotions and vulnerabilities of others. You must remove those tender parts of yourself from the equation. You don't give a bad smart dog a second chance. It will soon learn there is always a consequence and it arrives immediately.
This is excellent life advice for anyone who hasn't already internalized it.
Amen!
Got rid of that thing as fast as I could find someone to take it.
It had no value to you at all?
No. I was determined to get rid of it. And it was a shocker all right when my absolutely-the-deflowerer-to-make-my-family's-head explode insisted that we not continue to enjoy licentious freedom but get married instead.
First boyfriend, first sex, first husband all in one package. Economical fer shure.
At first, my mind read "incestuous freedom" and that story went way differently! 👀
My dog dislikes you now...because of course I blamed you for the snort and giggle that woke her up.
Well, other than it happening, I suppose. It was awkward and sloppy. Which, now that I think about it, sounds like the title of my Autobiography. 😂
Similar. Got tired of having it and sought out someone who would take it from me. I made it happen, but it was awful.
It was definitely not what I' d been led to expect.
That's interesting. I can imagine being indifferent to it, but what in particular gave it a negative value?
The desperate desire to be bold and transgressive and anything except a miserably unhappy teenager who fit nowhere.
Ahh ok. Is it reasonable to understand that as the virginity itself being of indifferent value, but the status markers losing it entailed being desirable? That is, if it was edgy and cool to remain a virgin, you would have chosen that instead?
(Just curious. For young guys as near as I can tell the goal of losing virginity is always instrumental in the act itself :) )
One of my HS friends had been deflowered, if I recall correctly, at 15 by her building super who would exit by the fire escape if anyone was entering by the door, and she and another friend, who hadn't been deflowered yet but did have an edgy not-quite-boyfriend she was besotted with, were girls I really admired as being everything I wasn't.
On the other hand my until-then best friend, from 5th grade, was extremely conservative in everything.
Funny thing is all three dropped me when I got married because I'd been more transgressive than anyone could've imagined.
When I decided to visit friend #2 despite not expecting to be much welcomed, but extremely curious because I'd had a dream where everyone I encountered was pregnant, I learned that she, and the first friend, were indeed so. She married the guy who died of alcoholism at 36. (Not the edgy first boyfriend but her second one.)
The first was sent to one of those unwed mothers' homes and gave away a son.
I will have to remember this story when my girls get to that age...
I never understand people who say high school was great for them.
High school is the vestibule to the gates of hell.
i was just 18 and the lady was 28, 5 times in one night. luckily she lived right above where i worked so i wasnt late, just too tired to do any actual work
This stuff is really fun btw G.
It's good to get to "know" people we've been spending so much time talking to over text the last 1-2 years.
Well, if you don’t count being raped by your (adoptive) father at age 11, I was just shy of 19. Didn’t trust men, but decided being celibate for the rest of my life wasn’t a good option. Sure had a hell of a good time once it was my choice and decided all men weren’t demonic assholes.🤪
17 and it was not mind blowing in any way. Prefer the foreplay, k? And someone who actually knows what he’s doing!
I’m a pastor’s kid and my mom tricked me into confessing that I’d lost my virginity. So my dad forced us all to go see a counsellor--after I was forbidden from seeing my bf anymore--then much to my dad’s anger, the counsellor seemed more on my side(!!!) and that was the one and only time we went!
It’s surprising I don’t have more sex-guilt than I do!
Late 30s post divorce was my real hey-dey. I think I let most of it go there 👏
I'll speak up (I'm new here) only because I think it may be of interest.
I was 29. Dated a girl from [FOREIGN COUNTRY REDACTED], and she asked me if American guys didn't like sex. So I had to give in.
Why did I wait so long? Combination of second wave feminism and 90s sexual harassment hysteria convincing me any kind of lustful thoughts or aggressive actions were evil, general shyness (I mean, that had to be in there), a general desire to wait for marriage due to a conservative streak despite being from a very left-leaning part of the country, being into nerd stuff back when that was a bigger disadvantage than it is now, and...I dunno. Somewhere in the back of my head I figured I was never going to find a woman who was into the same stuff I was into, and I wasn't cute enough to obtain casual sex, so I just...didn't bother? It's such an outlier you figure there must be a few different causes.
14, with a 24-year-old in her apartment on New Year's Eve. I guess I was raped, technically speaking. I didn't think to press charges, as I was busy selling dimebags and molly at the time.