I realized as I woke up this morning to the joy of a mountain of comments at the bottom of last night's threads- like falling asleep waiting for Santa and seeing a mountain of yuletide presents that weren't there hours ago- how much I love the gathered voices and personalities that have accreted here.
One of these days, I should host an althing at the farm for anyone willing to make the trip. Big feast and everything. Would anyone actually want to come?
While it's not having an immediate impact on my life just yet, my "biggest" concern is "Western" countries (mostly NATO, but not to exclude the likes of Japan, Aus etc) appear to be conducting jihad for their "liberal world order". An order that is distinctly illiberal if not completely totalitarian, appears to hate me because of my gender and skin color, has embraced openly fascist ideology (while claiming to be strongly anti-fascist) and, most of all, is constantly causing suffering to their own citizens when their strategies backfire immensely. Their only saving grace is their immense incompetence.
I like reading about your animals and the various tribulations of a small family farm. If I just wanted to read about the failings of western ideology or COVID authoritarianism alone I can get that in plenty other places.
But are you legitimately concerned, as per the question, that these things WILL eventually show up at your own, personal doorstep? What do you think that will look like for you when they do?
Well that's a good question. It's currently the usual bullshit of American cultural colonisation. Specifically LGB and race grifters, vengeful and resentful of historical mistreatment, making hey while they can. It's willfully blind support of Ukraine and the policy of antagonizing Russia when my local entire continent is completely dependent on them for essential resources such as energy, food and fertilizers.
Maybe I'll continue to be infuriated by openly Marxist propaganda in media and the general cultural rot, but no more than that.
Maybe I'll slowly be driven bankrupt by Government dictate because I refuse to surrender bodily autonomy to failed experimental therapeutics for a virus that's almost a complete non-issue for >99% of the population.
Maybe I'll be living in MadMax world, which I suspect is far less fun than Fallout would have me believe.
Having lived thru a large hurricane I can tell you that even a brief bit total anarchy is scary. It takes very little for people to go savage. I pray eyes will open to the current madness, turn it around and return to normal insanity.
Thank your for sharing your experiences as life, and all its vagaries add texture and flavor. I can relate on so many of the situations and it helps knowing others share similar struggles and continue pressing forward.
I am coming to find this is quickly becoming the most vital currency of the realm: validation that one is neither crazy nor evil and that there is good reason to have hope, given by people that at least vaguely resemble you in their soul.
I have found that 100% of the time that I like a comment and it doesn't appear, it does later.
The liking works. The problem seem to be with them updating the page. Don't click multiple times, or you'll unlike your like. Or, at least, like it an odd number of times.
Consider this an interesting exercise in self-discipline. :)
If you like it and refresh your local page, you will see it shows up. The error is in their processing display code, not in actually capturing the like.
First I want to say how much I enjoy reading what you write. Your scathing and often hilarious observations of our world are so spot on. I also love reading about your farming life, as we moved to a 5 acre homestead several months ago with the goal of becoming more self sufficient. It’s not an easy life but I love it. Your cow herding story encapsulated that perfectly.
Now I will answer your question. I seem to constantly struggle with understanding whether the threats I perceive (food and energy shortages) are really going to manifest here in the US in a very meaningful way. I can see that in some countries this is already happening. I worry that moves to curtail farming, like in the Netherlands, could lead to serious problems including starvation. But are we vulnerable here? Am I right to plan for collapse, which I acknowledge could be slow and shambling? Or am I being alarmist?
One thing I do know. I will never be vaccinated again ( did not take Covid vaxxes but did have childhood ones) and for that matter I pray my future grandchildren are not vaxxed for any reason at all. I also believe that most of our institutions cannot be fixed and so we must live outside them. I hope my future grandchildren will be homeschooled and that I get to participate in that. I think we need to make our own alternatives to eldercare within our own homes and families and communities. Most long term care is just death warehousing which makes me sad but I believe it to be true.
But what does that do to society and do we end up with parallel societies? If they leave us alone and don’t “come for us” I think I would be ok with that. But is that naive? I have a history and track record of naive idealism which makes me “me” but also could make me someone else’s lunch.
My 10-cent advise is that there are lots of ways to "plan for collapse," as you say, at a scale and speed that don't mark you out as "alarmist" but can go a very long way to easing your own worry and anxiety and won't do any harm to your lifestyle at all.
I've been building supplies of canned and dry goods for years, usually when supermarkets or outlets offer rock-bottom prices (e.g. dented canned goods for 5-10 cents each, sacks of rice less than $1/lb. that are immediately transferred to food barrels, etc.). It's always been in modest amounts at a time, using money I'd spend on food anyway, but we now have a substantial stockpile. Same for guns and ammunition- they come from our "recreational" fund and I have email alerts for price discounts on ammo we use.
There's a lot you can do that won't make you feel crazy, or silly, or break your bank, and even if you turn out to be "wrong," you've still got a well-stocked home and good family finances.
A suggestion: we all live on a rock hurtliythrough space at speeds beyond our comprehension. Somehow in our stupidity we have decided that the neighborhood is consistent, however like everything else that is not true. In fact earth is closer to the sun and that is in fact the cause of global warming. The greens, in their stupidity, are so self centered that they ignore the reality that electric cars are powered by coal and other fossil fuels, and that in the big picture the planet is spinning into a warmer neighborhood. Is it a problem? I guess it is a good thing we are not experiencing global cooling…
I agree 100% with these concepts, and stupidly believed them to be self-evident and obvious to everyone, which is why climate alarmists irritate me so much as they seem like willful deniers of reality.
Should I not bum you out by telling you we are experiencing global cooling at the top of a dipbfownninto a Grand Minimum cycle? You can always put on more clothes, right? ... The Sun giveth, and the sun taketh away.
At least they're consistent in their end goals, right?
Every 12, 000ish years ( think Gobekli Tepe) we go through a painful part of the Cataclysm Cycle. Every 26,600 Years we we squeeze through a fucking painful " Do I even want to be here? " portion...Yuga cycle...right ? We have magnetopheric excursion ...blah blah and the climate goes PMS along with tectonic unrest from bombardment of cosmic radiation...
and on longer cycles( whose timing i forget), where the above goes schizophrenic and we have all out havok puuuuurhaps induced by the incoming Parker Instability : micro nova , magnetic flip, and probably mantle slippage ( think: wtf does Antarctic have buried tropical flora.??) And the next Mass Extinction Event.
But we made it (barely) then...and we'll make it ( probably) again
"Real essay tomorrow"? What is this then, cold potato mash? Don't sell yourself short, this stuff is gold. Human, real, no self-pity and no pandering, nor is it didactic or snooty. Good stuff - honest without being self-indulgent.
"...seatback TVs." Flat. What. The. You-know-what. The brain of a child needs peace to learn to process information and stimuli, and it also needs to experience boredom to develop the ability to think abstractedly and to fantasise - if it's perpetually prodded, goaded, stimmed and so on it just goes bonkers and actually becoms less intelligent. It's like training a dog, really it is. You just can't stimulate the dog's senses and mind all the time, it learns nothing and goes nuts.
"He called Mothermouth a few hours later to gush that “I just had a great idea,” which is the way Fathermouth accepts other people’s suggestions." Ahahahahaha! Oh Land's Sakes! Does that ring a bell! That's the way the wife steers me! I need to think it my own thought and think it over too: she needs to try herself first before asking for advice or help.
Reading about your cattle, wow, what a trip! Nice King reference too. Isn't that short story back from his days of writing hopped up on cheap vodka and cocaine? He always was better in shorter format I think.
Also, you must have been away from young kids for a long time now. Seatback TVs in SUVs have been standard for like 20 years, at least in the US. Everyone was appropriately outraged and horrified for all the reasons you stated, and now basically forgot those things because kids are annoying and why did we have them, just give it something to shut it up.
"...kids are annoying and why did we have them, just give it something to shut it up."
>Insert rage face meme<
Right. So, not addressing you but that general public that behaves like dead salmon:
Ok, so we're going somewhere with the kids in the back. Say going hiking. So it's a lot of petilant whining going on maybe. Books. Drawring pads and crayons or pens or something. Bored? Look out the window. Or ask me something.
"Da-ad, why do the cows have tags in their ears?"
"Well, it's becau-"
"And doesn't it hurt when they put the tags in?"
And so on. Let the kids become bored. Let them have a tantrum at the wayside if needed. Let them burn with shame due to strangers looking at them like they're martians. Let the storm pass.
Then, when they understand that their behaviour gets them a 100% gu-aran-teed lose/lose-position, they'll get curious, investigative and out pours the questions. Easy ones and stuff you haven't freakin' clue about (own up to that, by the way, it earns lots of respect from the kids being shown that it's ok to admit ignorance, is a darn good vaccine against arrogance too) and the really bothersome ones like "Why do some people do drugs?" or as my son asked when we were going by train when he was 6 years old: "Why did Hitler kill all those people?" Great. 60-odd people are listening in to see how I answer him. Hoo. Ray.
See, it's good for us adults too.
/rant, as the kids say, and thanks for the soap-box.
I mean, what you're describing here is exactly how I grew up, and at the risk of universalizing myself, I think literally every family road trip functioned this way before society broke.
My parents weren't always great talkers (and it could get ugly trapped in that metal box with them for 12 hours at a time), but I read hundreds of books and looked out the window. I learned to self-regulate.
He Who Walks Behind the Rows, isn't that from his "Children of the Corn" back when he was just another writer getting his short stories published wherever he could?
As for kids, seatback-TVs et al - it's still very much taboo here. Via the school system we have a strong though vestigial rebel alliance against how much kids are exposed to this technoloy. Unfortunately, we also have the usual apologists and believers in holy grails as to why computerisation of everything will deliver us to that one perfect day...
Me, I used to require all assignements be handed in handwritten. Why, they asked. Because you need to develop eye-hand-mind coordination while growing up when the brain matter still is malleable, else you'll be much less able to think.
But it's so time-consuming. No it's not. Plus you learn spelling. Another thing I always required was reading out loud, and recitals. Basically, school as it's been for 2 500 years more or less.
OH MY GOD I completely forgot I referenced Children of the Corn. Yes.
Fun fact, because I love trotting this out whenever I give lectures and presentations: research has confirmed so many times- nearly as many times as the uselessness of public masking- that handwritten information is a) more quickly and thoroughly memorized, and b) more deeply processed.
I'm glad to see there's a first-world culture SOMEwhere that isn't happy about shoving screens in kids' faces.
It is a pleasant distraction to read about your life struggles. The distraction allows a temporary forgetting of real and looming fears of food shortages, rolling blackouts, loss of my life savings and the sheer chaos brought about by our current leaders, whoever they are.
I think about this a lot, because I hear a lot of people say that to me- "I don't have enough ammo for <blank>."
I feel that I do, and I have a lot less than them, which makes me think they're just coming from a place of anxiety or hoarder tendencies.
I hold back 1000 rounds of every weapon we have, and consider anything above and beyond that to be free use for target shooting/hunting.
I can't conceive of a single scenario where I need more than this much if I'm putting it to practical, SHTF use. If you're fighting other people with guns, you'll either be dead or winner takes ammo. If I can get hold of the materials, we can press our own. If I can't, the other guy can't, either. If I'm fighting a state force with unlimited supply, they're either going to crush me or I'm going to be capturing their ammo in the field.
I am not going to live on a box of 1000 rounds for the rest of my life- one way or another.
Biggest concern: having acted very out of character since early 2020, I’ve ended up exiting my normal & contented life in order to edge the odds in favour of being slightly more effective for slightly longer (southern USA v southern UK).
I had strong premonitions that I should do what we’ve done.
I’ve not had them before, so I’ve nothing to base whether I should have paid attention to them.
Anyway, here we are, and I’ve no evidence it was the right decision. I miss the modestly ordinary things I’ve left behind every day.
I miss all my friends. Really, I had a lot of them. I know I come across as an absolutely unhinged bitch but at least 50% of this is persona.
We had a rotating cast of a dozen dear friends in our home almost every day doing creative things, having amazing conversations, laughing ourselves sick. There was a convention circuit where I would know at least one person at every con that would owe me a drink, a hug, or an hour of their time.
For all that I did dislike (and stand by my dislike) about NYC as a place, I had roots and community simply because it was my home.
I don't have any of it, anymore. One friend who I infrequently see because of distance, mostly because we're in business together. That's it.
And I won't have it where we live now. I'm a dissident and love my amazing, hard-working, patriotic community but I'm not a rural Christian and I didn't grow up here. I'm not going to have crowds of friends in my home watching movies or playing obscene party games. I'm not going to have deep, emotional connections of trust and loyalty or deep conversations in the wee hours of the night about the nature of morality or the fate of mankind. If I'm very, VERY lucky, years from now I'll have one or two hunting or shooting buddies and MAYBE a girl friend to bowl or shop with.
I lost everything and didn't want to. I made a choice for my survival, and it was the right choice from a survival standpoint. But I ask myself the same things you do, all the time. And I wonder what exactly I'm surviving FOR almost every day.
Your last point is actually one I don’t ask, because my motivations in moving here aren’t to do with surviving.
In a stable environment, there’s every chance I’d have 10-20 good years ahead. But if things get sketchy, I’m not going to be able to survive, dependent as I am for pain control on regular prescription opiates. I expect pharmaceutical supply chains to be badly affected. We make almost nothing in UK or US now. Farmed out to India, China. Ten years ago it was Ireland & Puerto Rico.
Neither me nor Joanna have any experience or interest in trying to scrape by in a post apocalyptic future.
There does seem to be a split, which is natural, between those like me who’ve been fortunate to have had a complete life (if this is the end coming) & will prefer to exit rather than battle what’s coming.
Younger people, like our kids in their 20s & early 30s, have small children & haven’t had a life yet. Surviving is their assumption. They also have a chance to make it out the other end, even if it’s a decade long transition & more.
I'm just over the line, I think, with your kids. Assuming my health holds constant, I have WAY too long left (40+ years?) to just phone it in, and would consider myself robbed of quite a lot of life if it all ended tomorrow.
I’ve never been suicidal. I’d had too much fun for that. But I don’t want to go on much longer because I’m unable to extract myself & momentary existence from the global awfulness.
I feel terrible for you, doc. I wish I could offer you greater comfort and consolation. I know the world is better with you in it and if I knew you personally, I'd count you as a friend.
I REALLY enjoyed reading this piece! It took me back to a cold winter day in NC after a storm. I happened to pass a window and caught sight of my bright chestnut mare trotting merrily down the highway about 1/5 of a mile away. I flew out of the front door sock-footed and headed straight for the pasture gate down the road hoping to head off 3 more horses and 2 miniature donkeys before they realized how close freedom was. Fortunately, horses are herd animals, and once the mare realized none of her compatriots were coming with her, she headed back home, stopping traffic on her way only twice. If I was motivated enough, I could write a whole book called, "Loose Horses - neither rain nor sleet nor dark of night.....".
I wish I had the money to buy a homestead and some animals, at least some chickens. Of course, I would have had to not only lead the cows, I'd also have had to bring up the rear, as I have no one to assist me.
Maybe find some folks who have the assets but need some help around their place. Find someone maybe who needs labor help, but has land and stock. Might be a way to acquire some skills and make some nice connections while learning how to live in small-scale symbiosis?
Do I sound too much like a hippie waxing on about communes? Sure hope not.
Surviving this dumpster fire of liberal world order with some shred of humanity left. My gut says Biden will not survive the political scene( or is it Life scene) past mid Sept...and what unholy alliances will do to enforce Marshall law upon us so that we cannot toss these grifters and totalitarian elitist out into jail (or at least their backsides) come November.
I haven't gotten the community I want around me yet- but I'm grateful to live in small town Georgia.
I too appreciate best your farm hijinks...I need advice or a cheerleader as to how to start a homestead journey from someone I have watched for some amount of time, and adjudicated as a " no shit, I'm fucked up some but honest" survivor....
Assuming you meant me, I'd be happy to help. Ask away, any time, or give me permission to contact you directly.
As far as the whole humanity thing, I think we're fairly elastic. One of the most reassuring things a professor ever told me was, "if you're asking yourself whether you're a psychopath and you're concerned you might be, you almost certainly aren't, because if you were, you wouldn't wonder and you wouldn't ask." Some of us are more pragmatic, some of us are more comfortable with violence, etc., but if you know who you are in your core, it probably isn't going anywhere.
Dear Guttermouth, That was really touching & enjoyable. Normal, in an unusual way (to me...though rural, I don’t know anything about farming life). I hope your wounded animals all pull through, and your dad gets to live his amazing idea 💡
Sadly, the chick died, but it was a lot more comfortable than it was previously, and at least we gave it a good shot. All the other transplanted chickens are doing fantastic in the great outdoors.
Sorry to hear the chick died, but so glad you comforted it and gave it a chance.
We only have 12 chickens at our place, as we're just getting started and didn't want to experiment on too many at once. None of ours have had trouble yet, but we've only had them since late spring. They're hilarious, though. They love it when my husband plays the pennywhistle for them.
Excellent piece - I’m sure you could write about paint drying and I’d love it!
When I was a kid, my mom decided to go all “Green Acres” on we moved to eight acres. She started with a flock of 6 sheep and went to a mob of 75 pretty quickly - mom learning a little too late about separating the rams from the ewes.
Eight acres with 75 sheep goes barren pretty quickly. With farmland on three sides and a private golf course on the fourth, she went to electric fencing pretty early.
Perhaps it was only our sheep and/or the heavenly buffet of Hole #4 (private golf course) located along one of their fence lines - but at some point one of the geniuses in the flock-mob learned that if one sheep would sacrifice himself by holding down the fence, the other sheep could jump over the electric fence to the green grass of Hole #4. After paying the fines and smoothing things over with the Golf Course management, mom raised the fence much higher (16’ or so). This and the introduction of oats as a secondary meal seem to address flock-mob management.
After some time we began to notice skids, empty crates, tree debris moving about the pasture and collecting near the Hole #4 side of the fence line. Since the sheep could not possibly have moved these items, we ignored the slowly reconfiguring assembly and attached no meaning to it. As it turned out, the sheep had indeed been building a structure high enough to jump the fence and advance to the Nirvana of Hole #4 - and the furious calls came in from the Golf Course, the Golfers, and police about the mob of sheep occupying the putting green at Hole #4.. After paying the fines and high costs of hole #4’s landscape repair, mom (who had named all her lambs/sheep after saints) called the stockyard and thinned her saintly choir down to a small flock. I recall their brilliant leader/ram being carted off to another - probably unsuspecting - farm.
On occasion a priest will homilize at a Mass on sheep being “not too bright” (ie Jesus the Good Shepherd homilies/sermons, etc.). I always make it a point to straighten these priests out after mass. Sheep are most definitely a metaphor for group think and humanity but not in the way most priests and pastors think.
Yep! Sheep are capable of INCREDIBLE destruction, much more than people realize, and breed quickly. I cannot imagine dealing with a herd that size on a small holding. I'm really impressed your mom didn't throw in the towel.
I believe this. I didn’t know about “weird sheep” until I realised I was one. Apparently, every sizeable flock has one. Usually a complete pain, because they won’t do what they should, they can be useful in changing times, because they’ll try things that Good Sheep won’t.
I’d lay a bet that weirdness is heavily over-represented in the Resistance.
Considering how many people have wanted to literally string me up for believing that a) viruses exist and b) they do not have undetectable cybernetic implants, I'm inclined to agree.
Good news your recovering your herd with relatively few hitches, amused neighbors and a little exercise for Husbandmouth. Farm life will cure or break his lifting problems.
The Delaware Blues are pretty birds. I have never seen one IRL. I used to have a chicken addiction.
There is a story behind what I will tell you abt electric fences, but I will spare you. When your NEXT weaner pigs come along train them to the fence by putting them in their hutch/home and block the entry for a couple days then let them out. If you put them behind the electric without their knowing where home is there is a good chance they will bolt straight thru the electric and capturing him will be significantly more annoying than the cows. But it would be fine fodder for your Substack.
I hope that all things come together and your dad moves next to you. Sounds promising.
The biggest worldly concern I have is making our money last thru the hellflation that is here and growing. And, more broadly, getting these people who are effing up the country out. And some in jail. OK that is more aspirational, but still. I'd like to ignore both of those things.
The Blues are pretty but kind of useless; I think there's only one out of 6 hens that actually lay, and they're all quite thin. The roosters are very striking, though.
Good advice about the pigs. They currently have a big three-walled shelter (an ultralight hangar left over on the property) they share with the cows. It was very important to us for them to have a clear corridor to their shelter and to learn the fence.
It will be really, REALLY great if Fathermouth ends up in the cutout house. It will actually be the permanent end of a big source of constant worry and I know he will be SO happy.
Your biggest concern is mine, too. I strongly recommend putting yourself on a crash course for financial literacy, and invest in commodities: we have greatly ramped up how much non-perishable food I buy each week and the timing of wanting to buy land for Dad to move onto isn't an accident, either.
I hate to say it but I would say divest as much as you've invested in volatile things as you can. It's too late to jump onto the bitcoin train if you haven't already, and it's too soon for gold to do you much good.
I have become very interested in what (if anything) people are doing/thinking re finances, stocking of food(and other necessities and how they are planning for the future (thoughts and actions), so I really appreciate the insight.
My husband and I retired back in 2003 and endured the crash of 2007/8 - which was actually more scary than now since we were so young (I was 38 and hubs 42ish) so... long way to go. I utterly agree about getting financial literate. Now, I am concerned about the market and our money not keeping up with inflation. Not the worst of worries for sure.
I wonder if your dad might be motivated to move next to you if he felt needed. Like he would be a help. It feels good to feel needed. Plus he sounds pretty entertaining.
1 in 6 hens. Whew. I saw the roosters were beauties! I fell in love with salmon faverolles. Lovely, sweet, fat hens. Alas, they are the emotional wimps of the barnyard. Everyone picked on them. They lived alone for a while because they were my darlings, but I didn't breed them as I intended to. We ended up with a lot of orpingtons. A nice all around hen. Heavy and lay decently plus are friendly.
I admire you and husbandmouth going for it with the farm. So glad you are enjoying it. I can think of no better life if you can make it work.
my biggest concern is that i live in an apartment and not a farm for when the gaslighters finish destroying the food and energy supply. but it sounds like hard work and im too empathic to be wanting to deal with injured animals etc well done cowgirl!
I'm sorry, but the NYC had tears coming out I was laughing so hard.
You might want to look into a section 1031 exchange for the dad/neighbor deal.
I helped run a little trucking company for a bit.
I have dear friends who are drivers. One I keep in contact with regularly. I'm not saying anything they wouldn't agree with. For one thing, a newbie driver will get screwed on pay rate as an OTR, for years. That should be put out of your mind. Many drivers are a different breed. A pretty good subset of them simply aren't presentable to the general public. They like it that way and they'd be the first to tell you they DGAF and have no interest in dealing with civilians. If it was me, I would focus on a niche. 'White glove' handling/delivery comes to mind. Something involving maybe a liftgate and/or critical thinking/decision making/politeness.
Better yet, if you could come up with the funds, just buy a box truck and get on Craigslist/build a small website. Junk removal/box truck delivery/trailer rental/dumpster rental, all above will be MUCH higher value than getting paid by the mile. If I had a truck and trailer I would absolutely be doing something like this. I am particularly enamored with having a junk removal/demolition. And then selling the shit I demolish. I'm a resource freak and folks don't understand the stuff they are demolishing is made out of commodities, but society is starting to get there. I digress.
I am hooked into what I believe to be the best SEO group on the entire planet.
They do what's called 'lead generation'. (Sorry if I'm speaking as if to a child, you probably already know all this. This was all new to me not too long ago). I have credit from them for some websites (i.e. they are obligated to build me some websites). I can totally get you all the business leads for whatever type of business you establish in your area. You would just need to buy whatever domain name(s) you wanted. You can have the first website, if you want more we can discuss. I can easily explain to you the entire process of what needs to be done for basically never-ending leads.
Cheers.
P.S. Love the animal stories, I'm pulling for the chick!
1) The NYC story was 100% true and was one of the dozen or so times I've been pretty sure I was about to die or kill someone and was pleasantly surprised when it didn't end in violence.
2) Both dad and the neighbors are already out of capital gains territory (or will be when it's time to sell; PA assesses you if you lived in the home less than 2 years), otherwise a 1031 is exactly what you'd do.
3) I used to do lead generation. Your biz idea sounds wonderful and fascinating and Husbandmouth isn't the slightest bit entrepreneurial or self-motivated so it would end up being a pet that mom takes care of 99% of the time. If you want to do something like that yourself, and want a partner, let me know; I feel the same way about waste and repurposing and see a lot of money to be made.
I realized as I woke up this morning to the joy of a mountain of comments at the bottom of last night's threads- like falling asleep waiting for Santa and seeing a mountain of yuletide presents that weren't there hours ago- how much I love the gathered voices and personalities that have accreted here.
One of these days, I should host an althing at the farm for anyone willing to make the trip. Big feast and everything. Would anyone actually want to come?
Me! :-)
While it's not having an immediate impact on my life just yet, my "biggest" concern is "Western" countries (mostly NATO, but not to exclude the likes of Japan, Aus etc) appear to be conducting jihad for their "liberal world order". An order that is distinctly illiberal if not completely totalitarian, appears to hate me because of my gender and skin color, has embraced openly fascist ideology (while claiming to be strongly anti-fascist) and, most of all, is constantly causing suffering to their own citizens when their strategies backfire immensely. Their only saving grace is their immense incompetence.
I like reading about your animals and the various tribulations of a small family farm. If I just wanted to read about the failings of western ideology or COVID authoritarianism alone I can get that in plenty other places.
Thanks for your answer. It's a good one.
But are you legitimately concerned, as per the question, that these things WILL eventually show up at your own, personal doorstep? What do you think that will look like for you when they do?
Well that's a good question. It's currently the usual bullshit of American cultural colonisation. Specifically LGB and race grifters, vengeful and resentful of historical mistreatment, making hey while they can. It's willfully blind support of Ukraine and the policy of antagonizing Russia when my local entire continent is completely dependent on them for essential resources such as energy, food and fertilizers.
Maybe I'll continue to be infuriated by openly Marxist propaganda in media and the general cultural rot, but no more than that.
Maybe I'll slowly be driven bankrupt by Government dictate because I refuse to surrender bodily autonomy to failed experimental therapeutics for a virus that's almost a complete non-issue for >99% of the population.
Maybe I'll be living in MadMax world, which I suspect is far less fun than Fallout would have me believe.
It's less Fallout and more Rust. If you can learn to enjoy Rust, you'll do fine.
You can come be in my war party. I promise it will be more fun than depressing.
I think it'll be not so much "Rust" as "ripping out my own rotten teeth with pliers". The only rust will be on the knife I'm threatened with.
I'd also be no good in a war party. I have bad eyes without lenses and seemingly endless issues with my legs and feet.
Wow, what a downer.
But there are way better ways to do self-care. Check out, "When There Is No Dentist."
Helplessness does not become anyone.
Ha ha sorry! I'm also not sure Trans-Atlantic travel is going to be a thing after the collapse of society so there's that, too.
Having lived thru a large hurricane I can tell you that even a brief bit total anarchy is scary. It takes very little for people to go savage. I pray eyes will open to the current madness, turn it around and return to normal insanity.
Thank your for sharing your experiences as life, and all its vagaries add texture and flavor. I can relate on so many of the situations and it helps knowing others share similar struggles and continue pressing forward.
I am coming to find this is quickly becoming the most vital currency of the realm: validation that one is neither crazy nor evil and that there is good reason to have hope, given by people that at least vaguely resemble you in their soul.
Trying to like this... it'll eventually show up?.lol
I have found that 100% of the time that I like a comment and it doesn't appear, it does later.
The liking works. The problem seem to be with them updating the page. Don't click multiple times, or you'll unlike your like. Or, at least, like it an odd number of times.
Consider this an interesting exercise in self-discipline. :)
If you like it and refresh your local page, you will see it shows up. The error is in their processing display code, not in actually capturing the like.
This.
I have such detestable texting skills...I figured it was just me . Lol
First I want to say how much I enjoy reading what you write. Your scathing and often hilarious observations of our world are so spot on. I also love reading about your farming life, as we moved to a 5 acre homestead several months ago with the goal of becoming more self sufficient. It’s not an easy life but I love it. Your cow herding story encapsulated that perfectly.
Now I will answer your question. I seem to constantly struggle with understanding whether the threats I perceive (food and energy shortages) are really going to manifest here in the US in a very meaningful way. I can see that in some countries this is already happening. I worry that moves to curtail farming, like in the Netherlands, could lead to serious problems including starvation. But are we vulnerable here? Am I right to plan for collapse, which I acknowledge could be slow and shambling? Or am I being alarmist?
One thing I do know. I will never be vaccinated again ( did not take Covid vaxxes but did have childhood ones) and for that matter I pray my future grandchildren are not vaxxed for any reason at all. I also believe that most of our institutions cannot be fixed and so we must live outside them. I hope my future grandchildren will be homeschooled and that I get to participate in that. I think we need to make our own alternatives to eldercare within our own homes and families and communities. Most long term care is just death warehousing which makes me sad but I believe it to be true.
But what does that do to society and do we end up with parallel societies? If they leave us alone and don’t “come for us” I think I would be ok with that. But is that naive? I have a history and track record of naive idealism which makes me “me” but also could make me someone else’s lunch.
My 10-cent advise is that there are lots of ways to "plan for collapse," as you say, at a scale and speed that don't mark you out as "alarmist" but can go a very long way to easing your own worry and anxiety and won't do any harm to your lifestyle at all.
I've been building supplies of canned and dry goods for years, usually when supermarkets or outlets offer rock-bottom prices (e.g. dented canned goods for 5-10 cents each, sacks of rice less than $1/lb. that are immediately transferred to food barrels, etc.). It's always been in modest amounts at a time, using money I'd spend on food anyway, but we now have a substantial stockpile. Same for guns and ammunition- they come from our "recreational" fund and I have email alerts for price discounts on ammo we use.
There's a lot you can do that won't make you feel crazy, or silly, or break your bank, and even if you turn out to be "wrong," you've still got a well-stocked home and good family finances.
I always love readyyoyr writing, thank you.
A suggestion: we all live on a rock hurtliythrough space at speeds beyond our comprehension. Somehow in our stupidity we have decided that the neighborhood is consistent, however like everything else that is not true. In fact earth is closer to the sun and that is in fact the cause of global warming. The greens, in their stupidity, are so self centered that they ignore the reality that electric cars are powered by coal and other fossil fuels, and that in the big picture the planet is spinning into a warmer neighborhood. Is it a problem? I guess it is a good thing we are not experiencing global cooling…
Anyway, just an idea…
I agree 100% with these concepts, and stupidly believed them to be self-evident and obvious to everyone, which is why climate alarmists irritate me so much as they seem like willful deniers of reality.
Should I not bum you out by telling you we are experiencing global cooling at the top of a dipbfownninto a Grand Minimum cycle? You can always put on more clothes, right? ... The Sun giveth, and the sun taketh away.
Great. A climate policy allegedly calibrated to save us from global warming will fucking kill us all, then.
If it's cold and snowy, at least I'll die happy.
At least they're consistent in their end goals, right?
Every 12, 000ish years ( think Gobekli Tepe) we go through a painful part of the Cataclysm Cycle. Every 26,600 Years we we squeeze through a fucking painful " Do I even want to be here? " portion...Yuga cycle...right ? We have magnetopheric excursion ...blah blah and the climate goes PMS along with tectonic unrest from bombardment of cosmic radiation...
and on longer cycles( whose timing i forget), where the above goes schizophrenic and we have all out havok puuuuurhaps induced by the incoming Parker Instability : micro nova , magnetic flip, and probably mantle slippage ( think: wtf does Antarctic have buried tropical flora.??) And the next Mass Extinction Event.
But we made it (barely) then...and we'll make it ( probably) again
We're not in a Grand Minimum. We're in a Maximum.
We're in regular, everyday 7-11 year Max...while starting our dip into the multidecade trough of a Grand Minimum.
I need to edit evidently. I love reading your writing!!!
The earth is hurtling…
"Real essay tomorrow"? What is this then, cold potato mash? Don't sell yourself short, this stuff is gold. Human, real, no self-pity and no pandering, nor is it didactic or snooty. Good stuff - honest without being self-indulgent.
"...seatback TVs." Flat. What. The. You-know-what. The brain of a child needs peace to learn to process information and stimuli, and it also needs to experience boredom to develop the ability to think abstractedly and to fantasise - if it's perpetually prodded, goaded, stimmed and so on it just goes bonkers and actually becoms less intelligent. It's like training a dog, really it is. You just can't stimulate the dog's senses and mind all the time, it learns nothing and goes nuts.
"He called Mothermouth a few hours later to gush that “I just had a great idea,” which is the way Fathermouth accepts other people’s suggestions." Ahahahahaha! Oh Land's Sakes! Does that ring a bell! That's the way the wife steers me! I need to think it my own thought and think it over too: she needs to try herself first before asking for advice or help.
Reading about your cattle, wow, what a trip! Nice King reference too. Isn't that short story back from his days of writing hopped up on cheap vodka and cocaine? He always was better in shorter format I think.
Which was the King reference?
Also, you must have been away from young kids for a long time now. Seatback TVs in SUVs have been standard for like 20 years, at least in the US. Everyone was appropriately outraged and horrified for all the reasons you stated, and now basically forgot those things because kids are annoying and why did we have them, just give it something to shut it up.
"...kids are annoying and why did we have them, just give it something to shut it up."
>Insert rage face meme<
Right. So, not addressing you but that general public that behaves like dead salmon:
Ok, so we're going somewhere with the kids in the back. Say going hiking. So it's a lot of petilant whining going on maybe. Books. Drawring pads and crayons or pens or something. Bored? Look out the window. Or ask me something.
"Da-ad, why do the cows have tags in their ears?"
"Well, it's becau-"
"And doesn't it hurt when they put the tags in?"
And so on. Let the kids become bored. Let them have a tantrum at the wayside if needed. Let them burn with shame due to strangers looking at them like they're martians. Let the storm pass.
Then, when they understand that their behaviour gets them a 100% gu-aran-teed lose/lose-position, they'll get curious, investigative and out pours the questions. Easy ones and stuff you haven't freakin' clue about (own up to that, by the way, it earns lots of respect from the kids being shown that it's ok to admit ignorance, is a darn good vaccine against arrogance too) and the really bothersome ones like "Why do some people do drugs?" or as my son asked when we were going by train when he was 6 years old: "Why did Hitler kill all those people?" Great. 60-odd people are listening in to see how I answer him. Hoo. Ray.
See, it's good for us adults too.
/rant, as the kids say, and thanks for the soap-box.
I mean, what you're describing here is exactly how I grew up, and at the risk of universalizing myself, I think literally every family road trip functioned this way before society broke.
My parents weren't always great talkers (and it could get ugly trapped in that metal box with them for 12 hours at a time), but I read hundreds of books and looked out the window. I learned to self-regulate.
It's not rocket science.
He Who Walks Behind the Rows, isn't that from his "Children of the Corn" back when he was just another writer getting his short stories published wherever he could?
As for kids, seatback-TVs et al - it's still very much taboo here. Via the school system we have a strong though vestigial rebel alliance against how much kids are exposed to this technoloy. Unfortunately, we also have the usual apologists and believers in holy grails as to why computerisation of everything will deliver us to that one perfect day...
Me, I used to require all assignements be handed in handwritten. Why, they asked. Because you need to develop eye-hand-mind coordination while growing up when the brain matter still is malleable, else you'll be much less able to think.
But it's so time-consuming. No it's not. Plus you learn spelling. Another thing I always required was reading out loud, and recitals. Basically, school as it's been for 2 500 years more or less.
OH MY GOD I completely forgot I referenced Children of the Corn. Yes.
Fun fact, because I love trotting this out whenever I give lectures and presentations: research has confirmed so many times- nearly as many times as the uselessness of public masking- that handwritten information is a) more quickly and thoroughly memorized, and b) more deeply processed.
I'm glad to see there's a first-world culture SOMEwhere that isn't happy about shoving screens in kids' faces.
It is a pleasant distraction to read about your life struggles. The distraction allows a temporary forgetting of real and looming fears of food shortages, rolling blackouts, loss of my life savings and the sheer chaos brought about by our current leaders, whoever they are.
I don't have enough ammo.
I think about this a lot, because I hear a lot of people say that to me- "I don't have enough ammo for <blank>."
I feel that I do, and I have a lot less than them, which makes me think they're just coming from a place of anxiety or hoarder tendencies.
I hold back 1000 rounds of every weapon we have, and consider anything above and beyond that to be free use for target shooting/hunting.
I can't conceive of a single scenario where I need more than this much if I'm putting it to practical, SHTF use. If you're fighting other people with guns, you'll either be dead or winner takes ammo. If I can get hold of the materials, we can press our own. If I can't, the other guy can't, either. If I'm fighting a state force with unlimited supply, they're either going to crush me or I'm going to be capturing their ammo in the field.
I am not going to live on a box of 1000 rounds for the rest of my life- one way or another.
My current safe is not big enough for a 1000 rounds for each of my weapons. I have no expectations of getting out of this alive. If SHTF.
That can be a liberating perspective in its own right.
Ammo may one day become currency.
Precisely! I need a much bigger safe.
Biggest concern: having acted very out of character since early 2020, I’ve ended up exiting my normal & contented life in order to edge the odds in favour of being slightly more effective for slightly longer (southern USA v southern UK).
I had strong premonitions that I should do what we’ve done.
I’ve not had them before, so I’ve nothing to base whether I should have paid attention to them.
Anyway, here we are, and I’ve no evidence it was the right decision. I miss the modestly ordinary things I’ve left behind every day.
I miss all my friends. Really, I had a lot of them. I know I come across as an absolutely unhinged bitch but at least 50% of this is persona.
We had a rotating cast of a dozen dear friends in our home almost every day doing creative things, having amazing conversations, laughing ourselves sick. There was a convention circuit where I would know at least one person at every con that would owe me a drink, a hug, or an hour of their time.
For all that I did dislike (and stand by my dislike) about NYC as a place, I had roots and community simply because it was my home.
I don't have any of it, anymore. One friend who I infrequently see because of distance, mostly because we're in business together. That's it.
And I won't have it where we live now. I'm a dissident and love my amazing, hard-working, patriotic community but I'm not a rural Christian and I didn't grow up here. I'm not going to have crowds of friends in my home watching movies or playing obscene party games. I'm not going to have deep, emotional connections of trust and loyalty or deep conversations in the wee hours of the night about the nature of morality or the fate of mankind. If I'm very, VERY lucky, years from now I'll have one or two hunting or shooting buddies and MAYBE a girl friend to bowl or shop with.
I lost everything and didn't want to. I made a choice for my survival, and it was the right choice from a survival standpoint. But I ask myself the same things you do, all the time. And I wonder what exactly I'm surviving FOR almost every day.
Your last point is actually one I don’t ask, because my motivations in moving here aren’t to do with surviving.
In a stable environment, there’s every chance I’d have 10-20 good years ahead. But if things get sketchy, I’m not going to be able to survive, dependent as I am for pain control on regular prescription opiates. I expect pharmaceutical supply chains to be badly affected. We make almost nothing in UK or US now. Farmed out to India, China. Ten years ago it was Ireland & Puerto Rico.
Neither me nor Joanna have any experience or interest in trying to scrape by in a post apocalyptic future.
There does seem to be a split, which is natural, between those like me who’ve been fortunate to have had a complete life (if this is the end coming) & will prefer to exit rather than battle what’s coming.
Younger people, like our kids in their 20s & early 30s, have small children & haven’t had a life yet. Surviving is their assumption. They also have a chance to make it out the other end, even if it’s a decade long transition & more.
I'm just over the line, I think, with your kids. Assuming my health holds constant, I have WAY too long left (40+ years?) to just phone it in, and would consider myself robbed of quite a lot of life if it all ended tomorrow.
I think each of knows where the balance point is.
I’ve never been suicidal. I’d had too much fun for that. But I don’t want to go on much longer because I’m unable to extract myself & momentary existence from the global awfulness.
Each to his / her own.
I feel terrible for you, doc. I wish I could offer you greater comfort and consolation. I know the world is better with you in it and if I knew you personally, I'd count you as a friend.
Thank you. Likewise, and I’m sure we’d get along well.
I REALLY enjoyed reading this piece! It took me back to a cold winter day in NC after a storm. I happened to pass a window and caught sight of my bright chestnut mare trotting merrily down the highway about 1/5 of a mile away. I flew out of the front door sock-footed and headed straight for the pasture gate down the road hoping to head off 3 more horses and 2 miniature donkeys before they realized how close freedom was. Fortunately, horses are herd animals, and once the mare realized none of her compatriots were coming with her, she headed back home, stopping traffic on her way only twice. If I was motivated enough, I could write a whole book called, "Loose Horses - neither rain nor sleet nor dark of night.....".
I wish I had the money to buy a homestead and some animals, at least some chickens. Of course, I would have had to not only lead the cows, I'd also have had to bring up the rear, as I have no one to assist me.
Sounds like your priority should be finding a flesh-and-blood community first, then.
Maybe find some folks who have the assets but need some help around their place. Find someone maybe who needs labor help, but has land and stock. Might be a way to acquire some skills and make some nice connections while learning how to live in small-scale symbiosis?
Do I sound too much like a hippie waxing on about communes? Sure hope not.
Just an idea, anyway.
Also, if it's your style, there ARE communes out there, and they do allow people to apply.
My biggest concerns- simply put:
Surviving this dumpster fire of liberal world order with some shred of humanity left. My gut says Biden will not survive the political scene( or is it Life scene) past mid Sept...and what unholy alliances will do to enforce Marshall law upon us so that we cannot toss these grifters and totalitarian elitist out into jail (or at least their backsides) come November.
I haven't gotten the community I want around me yet- but I'm grateful to live in small town Georgia.
I too appreciate best your farm hijinks...I need advice or a cheerleader as to how to start a homestead journey from someone I have watched for some amount of time, and adjudicated as a " no shit, I'm fucked up some but honest" survivor....
Assuming you meant me, I'd be happy to help. Ask away, any time, or give me permission to contact you directly.
As far as the whole humanity thing, I think we're fairly elastic. One of the most reassuring things a professor ever told me was, "if you're asking yourself whether you're a psychopath and you're concerned you might be, you almost certainly aren't, because if you were, you wouldn't wonder and you wouldn't ask." Some of us are more pragmatic, some of us are more comfortable with violence, etc., but if you know who you are in your core, it probably isn't going anywhere.
Dear Guttermouth, That was really touching & enjoyable. Normal, in an unusual way (to me...though rural, I don’t know anything about farming life). I hope your wounded animals all pull through, and your dad gets to live his amazing idea 💡
Sadly, the chick died, but it was a lot more comfortable than it was previously, and at least we gave it a good shot. All the other transplanted chickens are doing fantastic in the great outdoors.
Sorry to hear the chick died, but so glad you comforted it and gave it a chance.
We only have 12 chickens at our place, as we're just getting started and didn't want to experiment on too many at once. None of ours have had trouble yet, but we've only had them since late spring. They're hilarious, though. They love it when my husband plays the pennywhistle for them.
Excellent piece - I’m sure you could write about paint drying and I’d love it!
When I was a kid, my mom decided to go all “Green Acres” on we moved to eight acres. She started with a flock of 6 sheep and went to a mob of 75 pretty quickly - mom learning a little too late about separating the rams from the ewes.
Eight acres with 75 sheep goes barren pretty quickly. With farmland on three sides and a private golf course on the fourth, she went to electric fencing pretty early.
Perhaps it was only our sheep and/or the heavenly buffet of Hole #4 (private golf course) located along one of their fence lines - but at some point one of the geniuses in the flock-mob learned that if one sheep would sacrifice himself by holding down the fence, the other sheep could jump over the electric fence to the green grass of Hole #4. After paying the fines and smoothing things over with the Golf Course management, mom raised the fence much higher (16’ or so). This and the introduction of oats as a secondary meal seem to address flock-mob management.
After some time we began to notice skids, empty crates, tree debris moving about the pasture and collecting near the Hole #4 side of the fence line. Since the sheep could not possibly have moved these items, we ignored the slowly reconfiguring assembly and attached no meaning to it. As it turned out, the sheep had indeed been building a structure high enough to jump the fence and advance to the Nirvana of Hole #4 - and the furious calls came in from the Golf Course, the Golfers, and police about the mob of sheep occupying the putting green at Hole #4.. After paying the fines and high costs of hole #4’s landscape repair, mom (who had named all her lambs/sheep after saints) called the stockyard and thinned her saintly choir down to a small flock. I recall their brilliant leader/ram being carted off to another - probably unsuspecting - farm.
On occasion a priest will homilize at a Mass on sheep being “not too bright” (ie Jesus the Good Shepherd homilies/sermons, etc.). I always make it a point to straighten these priests out after mass. Sheep are most definitely a metaphor for group think and humanity but not in the way most priests and pastors think.
Yep! Sheep are capable of INCREDIBLE destruction, much more than people realize, and breed quickly. I cannot imagine dealing with a herd that size on a small holding. I'm really impressed your mom didn't throw in the towel.
I believe this. I didn’t know about “weird sheep” until I realised I was one. Apparently, every sizeable flock has one. Usually a complete pain, because they won’t do what they should, they can be useful in changing times, because they’ll try things that Good Sheep won’t.
I’d lay a bet that weirdness is heavily over-represented in the Resistance.
Considering how many people have wanted to literally string me up for believing that a) viruses exist and b) they do not have undetectable cybernetic implants, I'm inclined to agree.
What a great story, I love it!
Good news your recovering your herd with relatively few hitches, amused neighbors and a little exercise for Husbandmouth. Farm life will cure or break his lifting problems.
The Delaware Blues are pretty birds. I have never seen one IRL. I used to have a chicken addiction.
There is a story behind what I will tell you abt electric fences, but I will spare you. When your NEXT weaner pigs come along train them to the fence by putting them in their hutch/home and block the entry for a couple days then let them out. If you put them behind the electric without their knowing where home is there is a good chance they will bolt straight thru the electric and capturing him will be significantly more annoying than the cows. But it would be fine fodder for your Substack.
I hope that all things come together and your dad moves next to you. Sounds promising.
The biggest worldly concern I have is making our money last thru the hellflation that is here and growing. And, more broadly, getting these people who are effing up the country out. And some in jail. OK that is more aspirational, but still. I'd like to ignore both of those things.
The Blues are pretty but kind of useless; I think there's only one out of 6 hens that actually lay, and they're all quite thin. The roosters are very striking, though.
Good advice about the pigs. They currently have a big three-walled shelter (an ultralight hangar left over on the property) they share with the cows. It was very important to us for them to have a clear corridor to their shelter and to learn the fence.
It will be really, REALLY great if Fathermouth ends up in the cutout house. It will actually be the permanent end of a big source of constant worry and I know he will be SO happy.
Your biggest concern is mine, too. I strongly recommend putting yourself on a crash course for financial literacy, and invest in commodities: we have greatly ramped up how much non-perishable food I buy each week and the timing of wanting to buy land for Dad to move onto isn't an accident, either.
I hate to say it but I would say divest as much as you've invested in volatile things as you can. It's too late to jump onto the bitcoin train if you haven't already, and it's too soon for gold to do you much good.
I have become very interested in what (if anything) people are doing/thinking re finances, stocking of food(and other necessities and how they are planning for the future (thoughts and actions), so I really appreciate the insight.
My husband and I retired back in 2003 and endured the crash of 2007/8 - which was actually more scary than now since we were so young (I was 38 and hubs 42ish) so... long way to go. I utterly agree about getting financial literate. Now, I am concerned about the market and our money not keeping up with inflation. Not the worst of worries for sure.
I wonder if your dad might be motivated to move next to you if he felt needed. Like he would be a help. It feels good to feel needed. Plus he sounds pretty entertaining.
1 in 6 hens. Whew. I saw the roosters were beauties! I fell in love with salmon faverolles. Lovely, sweet, fat hens. Alas, they are the emotional wimps of the barnyard. Everyone picked on them. They lived alone for a while because they were my darlings, but I didn't breed them as I intended to. We ended up with a lot of orpingtons. A nice all around hen. Heavy and lay decently plus are friendly.
I admire you and husbandmouth going for it with the farm. So glad you are enjoying it. I can think of no better life if you can make it work.
my biggest concern is that i live in an apartment and not a farm for when the gaslighters finish destroying the food and energy supply. but it sounds like hard work and im too empathic to be wanting to deal with injured animals etc well done cowgirl!
I'm sorry, but the NYC had tears coming out I was laughing so hard.
You might want to look into a section 1031 exchange for the dad/neighbor deal.
I helped run a little trucking company for a bit.
I have dear friends who are drivers. One I keep in contact with regularly. I'm not saying anything they wouldn't agree with. For one thing, a newbie driver will get screwed on pay rate as an OTR, for years. That should be put out of your mind. Many drivers are a different breed. A pretty good subset of them simply aren't presentable to the general public. They like it that way and they'd be the first to tell you they DGAF and have no interest in dealing with civilians. If it was me, I would focus on a niche. 'White glove' handling/delivery comes to mind. Something involving maybe a liftgate and/or critical thinking/decision making/politeness.
Better yet, if you could come up with the funds, just buy a box truck and get on Craigslist/build a small website. Junk removal/box truck delivery/trailer rental/dumpster rental, all above will be MUCH higher value than getting paid by the mile. If I had a truck and trailer I would absolutely be doing something like this. I am particularly enamored with having a junk removal/demolition. And then selling the shit I demolish. I'm a resource freak and folks don't understand the stuff they are demolishing is made out of commodities, but society is starting to get there. I digress.
I am hooked into what I believe to be the best SEO group on the entire planet.
They do what's called 'lead generation'. (Sorry if I'm speaking as if to a child, you probably already know all this. This was all new to me not too long ago). I have credit from them for some websites (i.e. they are obligated to build me some websites). I can totally get you all the business leads for whatever type of business you establish in your area. You would just need to buy whatever domain name(s) you wanted. You can have the first website, if you want more we can discuss. I can easily explain to you the entire process of what needs to be done for basically never-ending leads.
Cheers.
P.S. Love the animal stories, I'm pulling for the chick!
1) The NYC story was 100% true and was one of the dozen or so times I've been pretty sure I was about to die or kill someone and was pleasantly surprised when it didn't end in violence.
2) Both dad and the neighbors are already out of capital gains territory (or will be when it's time to sell; PA assesses you if you lived in the home less than 2 years), otherwise a 1031 is exactly what you'd do.
3) I used to do lead generation. Your biz idea sounds wonderful and fascinating and Husbandmouth isn't the slightest bit entrepreneurial or self-motivated so it would end up being a pet that mom takes care of 99% of the time. If you want to do something like that yourself, and want a partner, let me know; I feel the same way about waste and repurposing and see a lot of money to be made.