67 Comments
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I feel the need to apologize again.

I'm so sorry.

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You'll feel right at home; it's the gutter after all.

Show em' who's boss.

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You do not need to apologize.

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author

No, Twitter is the absolute fucking worst and I feel like I've broken a promise to myself somehow.

It's like when you strangle your first hitchhiker. You can't ever really go back.

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Jan 4, 2023Liked by Guttermouth

I picked up a hitchhiker once. He said to me “aren’t you afraid I could be a serial killer?” I said I wasn’t too worried about it. After all, there’s a pretty low chance of two serial killers being in the same care at one time!

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The voices get louder.

Don’t worry, darling. I’ll fetch the shovel.

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Real friend, right here. 👆

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author

Phisto is the eternal princess of my heart.

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IKR?? I'm feeling a bit like I've been shown for the lousy friend I am... I guess I could offer to bring a tarp

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Suddenly there's three people involved in the murder. That's dangerous. 😉

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Jan 4, 2023Liked by Guttermouth

" your first..."

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"...strangle your first hitchhiker."

Is that some kind of code for shitting out a tape-worm?

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author

...yes.

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It puts the tweet in the basket.

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This stack and the comments always make me laugh inappropriately.

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author

Achievement unlocked

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Jan 4, 2023·edited Jan 4, 2023Liked by Guttermouth

The only inappropriate laugh is not doing so when one ought, which is more often than we realize.

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Think Twatter :)

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Apology warranted and accepted

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"Oh

It was a good lay, good lay

It was a good lay, good lay

Oh..."

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Jan 4, 2023Liked by Guttermouth

Then Musk buys Substack anyway and we back our bags for the long and arduous journey into the decentralized Wild West.....

https://www.businessinsider.com/elon-musk-is-open-to-buying-publishing-platform-substack-2022-12

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author

>> the decentralized Wild West.....

~All my bags are packed, I'm standing here outside your door...~

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Somehow i feel dirtier

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That's a real statement on a Guttermouth chat thread!

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Thx. I love to read everyone’s responses. Ryan is correct - twitter is the gutter. But I laugh and laugh and laugh.... some people are SO stupid.

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All hail the coming of Twutter!

(Sorry, the alternatives were Gwitter or Twittmouth, both which sounds horrible.)

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I LOVE Twittmouth! 😂🤣😂🤣

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ah it has its uses, we can share shit or pictures of shit with each other there that we cant here

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I found Ray there... I dont say much though.

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I literally can't even!

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Literally shaking rn

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author

Guttermouth is literally violence.

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Praise the gods and pass the ammo.

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Skadhi align my RDS.

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Will there be pictures of poop?

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author

Re-read the post?

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No apology necessary. All’s fair in love and war.

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If I get one new reader for basically zero effort (clicking a share button) and don't add anything to the content there beyond anything I've already written, it's something I can live with.

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😖

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Shoot the bluebird with .45 ACP. Kill the soul, so it doesn’t come back as a lich.

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Twitter is Acererak?

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You will leave by the summer. I deleted mine altogether, which had a blue tick & peaked at a following/follower ratio of 2,900/27,000.

Twitter is shit.

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author

That's my take so far.

Like I said, if I get one new sub for virtually zero effort, it was worth it. I'm a tourist who knows she has a home to go back to.

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My basically dormant Twitter still had 18k followers, so I went on a concerted push to use it for promotion. It just didn't work. I was quickly followed by a lot of the big names I tagged too, which I thought might help. No joy.

Top tip; the algorithm throttles external links. Post screen shots of your pieces and rely on people coming to your main page to find the link to The Gutter.

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author

>> the algorithm throttles external links

Is that still true?

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I think, and various reasonably recent marketing blogs said so. I tested it, comparing links with screen images, but my engagement had flopped through inactivity, so it was inconclusive on data. But links *seemed* to draw less reaction.

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author

Thanks for this. I suppose I'll find out pretty quickly.

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Stop apologizing lol. Even I have a Twitter acct. No followers yet. I just use it to troll blue checks who piss me off. Probly nobody reads my posts. I just do it to blow off steam.

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Jan 5, 2023Liked by Guttermouth

I finally went ahead and took the Twitter plunge recently myself. It can't possibly be any worse than it was pre-Elon, so the only way to go from there is up, at this point. After my experience with a fake account.....errrrr......"Research Profile" for my job in the USG, I noticed that it has its utility as a good place for a lurker like myself to get some surprisingly decent OSINT regularly.

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Oh, Gutter! How could you?!

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author

Nobody has to engage with it, like, at all. It's purely a post mirror.

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I was just messing with you.

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author

Unacceptable

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Jan 5, 2023Liked by Guttermouth

🤣🤣🤣

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author

Lol, that was quick.

Absolutely no sensitive days on my end there. But it sucks for a bunch of people.

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