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I started making a mental list of all the lines that made me guffaw out loud, but there were too many and I just gave up keeping track.

That was a hysterical description of a harrowing adventure. I am gobsmacked by the upbeat ending—it is a testament to his Viking fighting spirit that he survived the murder-for-pay hospitals.

And now I see where you get your foul-mouthed indomitable spirit!

P.S. I hope you turn your family tales into a book and give David Sedaris some competition!

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It was nothing short of miraculous and, yes, gobsmacking. I don't know that we'll ever fully understand it. I was preparing for a long and undignified decline into death lasting 1-2 years. Instead I got my dad back along with a phase of our lives of irreplaceable quality time.

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😅🙏🤗

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So glad you decided to start writing. You have a delightfully direct and entertaining style. 👏👏

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Thank you. It's nice to see you here, too - so many writers I admire have shown up.

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The act of living life is art. The technical parts- the eating, the pooping, the fucking, and the dying- happen without too much mental intervention. Everything in between is what my 6th-grade English teacher used to call "free write."

Worth thinking about when you try to imagine how yours looks all laid out.

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deletedFeb 16, 2022·edited Feb 16, 2022
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That's your prerogative, of course.

I think it's art whether we want it to be or not. If we follow a broadly agreeable definition of art- creative, self-generated, with entirely subjective value determined separately by creator and observer- how we choose to live is art, whether we're trying to live up to that or not.

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I'm not saying it's GOOD or BAD art, but there can, I think, and should, be an operational definition of what qualifies as an artistic endeavor.

I would say art is probably inclusive of craft- the distinction is in the end product, not the sensibility of the undertaking.

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Husbandmouth and Guttermouth LOL!

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I love consistent naming conventions, especially when they look silly when rigorously applied. As you can imagine, the US military and NATO are an endless source of giggles.

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Thanks very much. Fixing now.

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Feb 16, 2022Liked by Guttermouth

This was quite the novella. You are a remarkable author. One moment I was laughing my ass off, the next moment I was holding my breath, wondering how Dad was going to make out. You are a blessed daughter to take him in after all these shenanigans. I look forward to your future endeavors!

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Thanks very much. I plan to write more about my history with him and some of the times we've spent since he got home, as it has all been very interesting and revelatory.

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I was literally feeling every word , your humor was like my own dark joking about the experiences I myself have unfortunately had ..

I've cared for many friends parents , friends , family , to both my dad and FIL in home hospice. First , big hug

Second , I'm so grateful to find such intelligent , humorous people who contribute so much to the much needed debate , but also the support for one another . We literally have so much in common , including "Gutter mouth " as I was called by my Dad a few times !

I unfortunately am stuck waiting to see if my hostile , double jabbed , previously injured (MMR 2x hospitalized) son will have more issues besides the heart ones I cannot mention -

Thanks so much for the belly laugh.

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Thank you for the vote of support, and I'm glad you enjoyed the piece.

I'm very sorry about your son. It's a waiting game- I hope it shakes out in your favor.

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Jfc. I knew you were dealing with a lot. A few of the incidents are similar to situations with my grandmother. The hallucinations Fathermouth (love that) had were frightening absolutely. I wonder if that Alzheimer's medication (or other things they gave him that weren't in his take-home med list) is the cause?

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They WERE in his take-home. I did a take OUT after he got home and I saw WTF they were pumping him with.

There's a good chance the Alzy pills contributed, but I'm actually betting on a combination of the pharmacologically-opposite sleep aids and the antipsychotics (which were supposed to be for acute doses).

I'm also intrigued that a combination of sleep and light deprivation might be at the root of a lot of conditions labeled "hospital dementia."

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Oh no I wasn't talking about those but other medications he was given while in-patient at various facilities but that weren't part of the medicine schedule out-patient. Especially anything that could have been given in an IV infusion.

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All he had IV was heparin. The problem is NOTHING ended up being taken off his inpatient list- as he got shuffled from place to place, they just mindlessly continued ALL his previous scrips and kept adding to them when it seemed like fun, as some of kind sick Katamari Pharmacy.

Holy shit, even the syllables match. God I'm fucking brilliant.

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You ARE fucking brilliant!

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Fun fact! The creator of Katamari Damacy invented the whole game as a commentary on mindless materialism and accumulation, and 99% of the solar system missed it.

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Hey, Guttermouth, so sorry I'm late to the conversation. I'm glad your dad is doing so much better! You're an excellent daughter, from what I've read. I'm so sorry you've been through so much.

I just had to throw in a tiny bit of anecdotal info, even at this late date.

My dad, some years ago, was in the process of his brain slowly stopping from Alzheimer disease, and they tried a different drug for him, memantine. He started having some pretty severe mental reactions to it, including intense activation of his PTSD from his experiences during WWII, with occasional hallucinations.

They hospitalized him, but thankfully he had a psychiatrist with geriatric specialty overseeing his care there. I happened to be visiting my dad when the doc was in there, and told him about my dad having the WWII version of PTSD, and asked if the new med could cause flashbacks. The doc said he'd had other veterans who took that med, but had to discontinue it for similar reasons. My dad never took mematine again, was discharged two days later, back to (what for him at the time was) normal.

I wonder if they had your dad on memantine, along with his other chemical assault cocktail.

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Interesting story. Sounds fucking horrible.

Dad's delusions were different from flashbacks- more persistent and long-lasting, and no transitioning out of a fugue state. Just unrelenting psychosis for two months.

He was never on memantine, just rivastigmine.

And, to be clear, dad does NOT have Alzheimer's.

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Since when would that stop them for prescribing 'meds' for it?

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Well, clearly in this case, it didn't.

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Feb 16, 2022Liked by Guttermouth

So, if I'm reading you correctly Guttermouth, what you are saying is that life has been pretty damn boring on the ol' farmstead.

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Nothing fucking happens around here. I swear shoveling the shit is more interesting.

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I kinda like the farm's boringness. The chickens awake me at 7;30. The dog and cats swarm me if I oversleep until 8:00. I let them lull me into a natural rhythm. Good luck with your dad!

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I was absolutely joking. I don't find the farm boring at all. There are way too many moving parts. :)

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Hey, with that kind of boring who needs entertainment! :D

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So no chance of any kind of medical explanation as to WTF caused all that?

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Feb 16, 2022·edited Feb 16, 2022Author

None that anyone will stick to. Even the original internist who was with me on AWS and Wernicke's now agrees it is a complete mystery.

The (unfortunately largely anecdotal case study) papers I've found about "hospital dementia" fit his symptoms, but this would be the historically worst case in the universe- and, like all other, recede almost immediately after discharge.

A friend of my mom's apparently attempted suicide from it- and was perfectly compos mentis before and after her hospitalization.

Fun addendum to the story- about a day after dad came home, that doc- who has randomly continued to call over the past month since dad left his care just to check on me, because we enjoy occasionally talking about Iranian politics (his home country)- spoke to dad as he was sitting here in front of the fireplace petting his dog. Despite this guy testing dad every single day without exception for 40 days, Dad has zero memory of his name, likeness, voice, or anything- so it was a very funny interaction of, "I don't really know who you are, but thanks so much, and thanks for helping my daughter not lose her mind."

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Feb 16, 2022Liked by Guttermouth

My MIL had hospital dementia after hip surgery. She went to a rehab, lost her shit, they sent her to another rehab. She eventually came out of it, but she was like your dad. At times lucid and other times roaming the halls, beating up the townfolk and looking for her gun. I'm glad your dad mostly doesn't remember. If he has to go to the hospital again, make sure they know he most likely had it before. Iranian doc was a lifesaver.

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The problem is dad is now justifiably petrified of anything involving hospitalization lasting more than a day or two and has basically said he will just rub dirt on it if that's the only alternative.

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Re: your MIL, I've noticed the accounts of it seem to have pain medication, supportive oxygen, and restricted movement in common.

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Well those three are fairly common. She had all three. In fact they tied her to the bed when she got combative. In my MIL's case she had been on pain meds for her hip and back before surgery and IMO she was sneaky over medicating herself. She was an alcoholic (but she was tiny so it didn't take much). SIL told them that before she went into surgery. I think that because she looked old (she was in her 60's) they treated her like she was an alzheimers patient (even though she was not). By the time she was released she was on a laundry list of mood altering drugs, antipsychotic and drugs that counteracted each other. I am not convinced that the drug cocktail wasn't the culprit.

Interestingly, when she did end up demented - she was still threatening to shoot people. Of course she was in assisted living and gunless, but she was fairly convincing that a stashed gun was a possibility.

I'll second whover said you were a good advocate. Hubs read your saga and agrees. Frightening odyssey for those without one.

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>>> By the time she was released she was on a laundry list of mood altering drugs, antipsychotic and drugs that counteracted each other. I am not convinced that the drug cocktail wasn't the culprit.

As you probably read in my account, that was 100% the case with dad and 100% contributed. It was night and day. I was thrilled when my completely unqualified choices to drop 90% of the prescriptions from his regimen A) didn't kill him and B) met with qualified approval from his new GP down here.

Overmedication is an unmitigated evil and the cause of so, so much wrong with health care in 2021.

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I can truly believe the pain meds. After a hip replacement and taking the pain meds, I was sprawled out across the bed, not on purpose, staring at the ceiling, which began to turn a transparent red. After that, I started to wean off the meds. It was only 3 days post surgery, but I wasn't going to deal with seeing weird sh!t. Nope!

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Well Bandit - I'm glad it didn't fade to black. Too bad the hallucinations never seem to be pleasurable.

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Feb 19, 2022Liked by Guttermouth

Love the Cowboy Bebop anime reference. Ed and Ein are the BEST! Maybe you should get a corgi or two to herd your livestock. They're incredible dogs. Both of the ones I had were instinctive herders.

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I LOVE corgis, but I've suspected they would be a bad mix with my other dogs, which are all large and VERY energetic (hounds and a husky) with a fair bit of roughhousing.

Corgis are indeed great herders. Fathermouth's dachshund, who is staying here while he recovers at our home, enjoys herding the chickens, though he's bred as a tunnel hunter.

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Had my first corgi (Hende Nicholas, aka Nick) while in postgrad (early 80s). He and other mostly big dogs would run loose on a big open quad outside the student center. One day a guy shows up with a big black pit I learned later was named Demon. Demon's owner suggested i might want to pick Nick up. I could see Nick wanted to have more fun. Nick got Demon to chase him. Corgis in good shape are ridiculously quick. They cant match top speed or range of a big dog, but in about 25 yards they're very competitive. And the low center of gravity is a maneuverability bonus. So Nick ran Demon one way and just before being caught, Nick would turn 90* at full speed, roll, and take off again while Demon overran 5 or more yards. After a few passes, Nick worked Demon back to the area in front of the bench where Demon's owner and I were watching, ran the same sprint, turn, roll, and sprint play, this time headed straight for the bench. Nick, in all his hende corgi glory scoots right under the bench, but Demon, having no limbo skills, slams head first into the bench--knocked out cold. Nick and I wished Demon well and left to get our afternoon snow balls (a N'awlins thang--theyd put Nick's on a little plate). Good times! RIP, Hende Nicholas!

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That's hilarious!

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Feb 16, 2022Liked by Guttermouth

I'm sure he'll be first in line for another booster, right?

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As soon as he got his phone turned back on and working he literally went down his contact list and told his friends to stay the fuck away from the booster if they hadn't already.

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God bless him! If any listened, he may have saved someone a lot of heartache. (Not meaning to be funny.)

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Holy shit Guttermouth. That's an incredible and horrifying story. Can I repost that on my article?

https://bherr.substack.com/p/what-is-your-war-story?r=rsz2a

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Sure thing. You'll probably want to abridge it considerably to keep it relatively focused on the impact of his vaxx damage, but do with it as you like.

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Feb 17, 2022Liked by Guttermouth

Wow.

I love your writing and your strength.

Well done.

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Thanks! Welcome to the stack!

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Feb 17, 2022Liked by Guttermouth

Holy fuck. ((((((Guttermouth)))))) < - hug

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Thanks dude. 😊

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Feb 17, 2022Liked by Guttermouth

Please don't forget us, your first paid subscribers, when you are famous.

Between Biden's free crack pipe and a weekly post from you, I'll be set. I know the pipe is fake news. I hope you'll write once a week though.

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The plan is at least 3x weekly, more as time/ money affords. Free subs will get one big post like this one.

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Also, I just read about the Crack pipe thing as I went to bed last night and Brandon has finally said something I actually thought was parody.

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Thanks for the bullet point that made me laugh while also putting a lump in my throat. Sucks you and dadmouth had to go thru that; doesn't suck you could make some art out of it all. Plus I learned about hospital dementia, which now explains that episode with Uncle Marcel....

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Thanks very much. It opened my eyes to this thing that is apparently massively widespread and destructive that NO ONE talks about, this objective proof that Healthcare is basically competing destructive and possibly healing activities to see which breaks first.

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The management conglomerates and their profit chiseling protocols are a threat to EVERYONE.

And most personnel read nothing not required for continuing CEUs, and never question anything.

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I'm exhausted!!!

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Me too.

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