Good and bad things--really, you know, depends on who's doing 'em. Those moral clear boundaries--I poke holes in 'em where needed.
Everything you've written about here--for each one, there's a point where thinking does its part and then instinct on the right way to go has to get the relay baton and bring the deal home.
I was a very, very, very lucky woman in every single step of the completely unmapped road to motherhood. Do whatever is necessary as you see it and feel it and may every good force in the universe bring joy to you.
Thank you a thousand times. More than anything else, thank you for not telling me how to feel and what to do.
People love telling infertile women what the "right thing to do" is. Absentee, accidental, and abusive moms are not granted reproductive rights by social consensus (at least, not the making part). Those of us cursed by nature and the gods have enough to deal with without finding a way to have a baby that pleases everyone else's values.
There is no right or wrong way to feel, you just feel. Your feelings are your own. Talking through your feelings and thoughts with a non-judgmental can be helpful. That can be hard but you are entitled to however you feel. Be gentle with yourself.
Nuclear war is surprisingly less cataclysmic than we tend to think. That’s my attempt to drop a comment that fits well with the Mouth community. How am I doing?
I am only familiar with the 70 hour rule for long haul. I know there is a longer I think 14 hour per day rule if you go in less than a 150 mile radius. Anyway. If the driver is caught violating, the driver will be sanctioned, and then the cdl that was paid for risks being worthless. If the driver kills someone while in an accident and while in violation, they are going to jail, probably for a long time.
Definitely not worth the risk.
The behavior of the company is pretty bad here. Sounds like a lawsuit waiting to happen.
The question of why truck driver vs. remote cybersecurity, I will leave for another time.
I am curious, if you have it broken down, how much it costs per egg or per chicken or however you break it out. How much feed do you need I am wondering.
We currently maintain an average (with semi-regular cullling) of about 20 chickens. They consume roughly $5 of feed a week not during winter. We get about 6-8 eggs a day (but this number is increasing as they get older, all are less than 1 year old) and slaughter about 1 every two weeks.
Except for buying fertilized eggs at the beginning of a breeding run, we don't really have any other expenses with them. In the winter we'll turn on the heater in their coop so they won't shut down egg laying completely, but that's it.
If you have sufficient space for your chickens to range and forage safely, the costs for chickens after startup can be virtually zero, depending on how relentlessly productive you're trying to be.
So our costs per chicken or egg, to answer your question, would probably break out to pennies each.
Just one small thing: It's never a good time, or a good world in which, to have a baby. Never enough money. You can always talk yourself out of it. I've read your posts about this. Go for it.
Sadly, Husbandmouth made the right decision there. I've been in supply chain/logistics for quite some time, and a company that says "Don't worry about the law thing" is a HUGE red flag. The driver is the one that ends up paying all the fines, not to mention his license being torn up when he dozes off and runs the tractor over a car or into a building. No halfway decent company should be encouraging violating hours of service rules, much less demanding it. I should know, I have worked for some merely halfway decent trucking companies.
He might want to keep an eye out for new opportunities though, as CDL drivers are still super hard to get, hence all the really questionable hires. Last I was looking (around fall 2021) drivers in eastern PA were pulling in $35+ an hour without too much trouble, and a lot more if they had some experience and special qualifications (cryo or fuel mostly).
Speaking of PA, are you in NY or PA? If the latter, and in the south central/eastern part drop me a pm and I will try and help out with the fence. I don't have a lot of prior experience there, but I can follow orders :)
I can't blame you! I don't know many people anymore, so I have to beg for help, too. Also, it would be a great thing to shame Brother and Husbandmouth with. "Look! This nice man, that I don't even know, came to help put up the fence for the cows!" 😉😊😋
Has it become that bad in the US now? It sounds bloody horrible, comparable to how things are here on some issues - Covid and vaccines wasn't and isn't one of those thankfully.
It was pretty bad in general, but in particular we have moved a fair bit over the past few years, so had to make new friends in new areas while everyone was hiding at home, etc. The normal sorts of social stuff I might do (game nights at local stores) were all cancelled so that was out.
So yea, partially just "moving 3times in 5 years sucks" wildly exacerbated by "EVERYONE IS GOING TO DIE IF YOU DON'T HIDE IN YOUR BASEMENT FOREVER!"
Gaming is the one thing I do miss. Computers and consoles and so on i fine for some things, but to me few things can stand up to a round-table pen&paper session, or some boardgame or other in real life with people dramatising their playing pieces and moves and just enjoying the game.
And yeah, moving sucks until you've settled in. When we moved here, it was midwinter. Literally, the wife got the keys on Midwiner's Eve having driven here with here dad (we didn't have a car at the time) and our old dogs and basically a backpack of stuff and a sleeping bag. -25C to -30C and record snows that winter, and she has to spend the first night alone with the dogs in the house, no furniture or anything. Though as is tradition the previous owners had left about 500 kilos of firewood.
Next day, my brother and I drive up from Scania - more than 600 miles - and when we arrive at night we discover that the truck's loading hatch/ramp is frozen shut.
Took some work to get it open, and then we had to unload the car while the wife kept the mechanism unfrozen. Food. Bed. Morning come my brother says "God Jul" and sets off driving back to Scania where he lives - that was his yulegift to me that year!
Then we discovered almost all the houseplants had died in the unheated cargo compartment. Not to mention discovering what you've forgotten:
"Honey where's the hairdryer?"
"Mmm... pretty sure it's at your parents place? Want me go fetch it? It's just 1 200 miles there and back again."
Next year, my father in law drove here with the rest of the stuff. If you could run a car on grumbling, that'd be him.
I am just one big fucking ray of sunshine, I am :)
An opportunity to help out a good sort, use some tools to build something and pet some cows while chatting isn't something to be sneezed at!
I mean, I am not so dear that I am going to offer to drive to NY state :) (Although... if you are up by Lake Erie next time I am up visiting family I will come out and buy a coffee!)
Time was, offering help like that was the done thing, just like that. Setting a good example right there Doctor.
That's what I missed all the years the wife and I was living in cities - camaraderie and belonging, they way you do in a real community like where we live now.
Like when we had car trouble a couple of weeks back - one of the wife's colleagues immediately ask her if she wants to borrow his old car until whenever. Just like that.
I wasn't kidding when I said we should help each other move :)
Funny about the car thing, we replaced my wife's car two weekends ago, and then since it was raining for 5 days straight we didn't use it and the battery ran down. (One of those cars with 10^23 bloody little electric gadgets you can accidentally leave on to kill the battery.) Fortunately one of our neighbors in the apartments works from home and I had his number from our kids playing together after school. He pulled his car over and we charged up ours. More importantly, we had a good time just standing around in the rain chatting for a half hour or so. It was nice, and he definitely looked like he was feeling the better for the experience, just helping out and connecting. Good for the soul.
It's a 5 hour drive to Cleveland from here, then to NY. While I would love to meet you, and some of my other Substack compatriots, I hate being in the car that long. <--- Part of the reason I never get a vacation. 😕
Yea, I am about 5-6 hours from Erie, whole other end of the state outside of Philly. We took the family out last summer though so the girls could meet their great grandma, who is doing remarkably well for 102, go to the lake shore, see Niagara Falls, Panama Rocks, etc. Good time, and I hope to be able to make it out at least once a year with my dad to visit all the extended family out that way.
😂 We'd be meeting in the middle! I'm in Indiana. --- Sounds like a good time with family! Most of my family has died off. What's left doesn't give a big rat's a$$ about me, so I never see or hear from them.
We always wanted to, we were just worried that conditions were always not-quite-good- enough, we were either financially struggling or lived in a bad place or someone was ill, and I saw too many kids in
really terrible situations that I kept saying "let's wait until it's even more perfect." But honestly we're at a point where our home and community are as good as can be and it's really now or never at our ages if we want to really be there as parents.
I know it's not everyone's path but creating a life, raising it up and building a legacy feel very important to my life having been purposeful.
My mother, who never wanted children, discouraged me for years. Fathermouth remains excited.
I got in a little trouble when I was 15 years old and made my mother a grandma when she was 36. Neither of my parents were excited about my teen mom status. I lived at a Salvation Army Home For Unwed Mothers (yes, they really called it that back then) and eventually became an independent, productive citizen, as did my son.
The point of my story is that there is never a good time to start a family. I take care of my youngest grandchildren and they are running me ragged. I keep telling them, “I’m too old for this shit!” but I love my little shield maidens. Although neither of my parents lived past 70, they were able to see their first grandson graduate from college. The child they were sure would curse my life ended up being a mutually precious blessing. If you want them, the right time to have kids is whenever or however it happens.
They say success is the best revenge, but I like the idea of Brother Mouth going to work for the unnamed delivery company Husband Mouth just left. Sounds like proof of being a licensed driver is not a big deal and Brother Mouth can gain valuable driving experience.
When working such places, never ever accept to receive or deliver unmarked envelopes said to contain X amount of money.
"Hey Charlie, you taking the red rig up to Smelly Bob's later right?"
"Yah?"
"You take this and give it to Slobodan who works there, tell him thanks and we're even from me yes?"
Do that, and surprise m-----f-----! The sum in the envelope is short, and Slobodan and Dragan and Györgi and the rest of the lads are angry. With you. Since clearly you've been dipping into the money so now you owe them.
But hey, by sheer coincidence and providence, you can fix this. Just take this packet across the border to Ib and Jens who lives right next to the church on Istedgade in Copenhagen, and bring back the duffelbag they give you.
Parallel parking. I remember this instruction from my driver's ed class way back in the mid-'70s and it's served me well ever since. I even once somehow managed to PP (a Mercedes sedan, no less) when I had no more than about 12" to spare total, front-and-back. It's technical rather than feel-based, but it's never not worked. Maybe have BroMouth or MouthBro try this?
1. Pull up next to the front car, 1-2 feet away from it, until both back bumpers are even.
2. Backup up straight, slowly, no more than a foot, just until your bumper is behind the parked car's bumper.
3. Turn the wheel sharply and completely to the right as you continue to back up slowly.
4. When you, the driver, are even with the back bumper of the parked car, straighten the wheel.
5. Continue to back up, steering wheel straight, until your front bumper just clears the back bumper of the parked car.
6. Crank the wheel hard to the left and continue to back up into the spot.
7. If you do it right, no adjustment will be necessary. You'll be parked.
If you need to park deep into the spot (e.g. it's a narrow and/or busy street), you need to be close to the parked car in front when you start the process. If you can't be deep (e.g. there's a high curb, or maybe a tree, whatever), you need to be less close to the parked car in front when you start the process.
(Do everything in reverse if you're parking on the left side of the street, of course.)
My driving HS instructor Mr. Hughes gave the same instructions. Being able to execute a perfect parallel park and drive anything with a manual transmission gives me pride. And by “pride” I mean an earned sense of accomplishment, not the below the belt neologism.
As a stranger on the internet, I am loathe to wade into the emotional and spiritual pain of infertility, but I believe the community you are building here is not afraid of Truth. I, like you, I believe, am a child of divorce. There are a lot of minefields related to my parents' divorce that drew me to the organization Them Before Us, which advocates for children's needs above adult desires. Them Before Us deals with various aspects of children's natural rights and one group they serve, donor-conceived children, openly and honestly discuss the fallout in their lives from being the product of surrogacy. Though surrogacy on the surface seems altruistic, it commodifies human life. And we've all seen during the past 2½ years the terrible ramifications of belittling and even erasing the humanity of our fellow man. I feel like your description of the process you're going through, "an equally fraught journey with lots of scamming and shadiness," describes the surrogacy industry to a T. Even if the ends (a baby and two loving parents) are an absolute good, the means cannot be justified. One donor-conceived child states it as, "Donor conception [is] unlike adoption, in which adults are trying to remedy a situation for a child in need by providing a stable home life, even though that home life is separated from their biological relatives. Adoption is an institution centered around the needs of children. Surrogacy looks to me like I was bought and sold."
I understand that this is a controversial subject and it's very, very personal for you and your family. But I just wanted to say that those feelings you're having about the industry are 100% accurate and your intuition and gut are telling you so. I also agree that there are sadly shady and grubby adoption agencies out there as well. But there are also good and honest ones, where their true desire is what's best for an already-conceived child, who deserves a loving and stable home.
Not trying to say how he should have jumped, having been in similar situations myself once or twice. Just saying follow your conscience, because that? You're stuck with it, in a way neither job, career or money sticks.
(One job, was me and another swede, and a bunch of polaks, romanians, and russians - meaning me and the other swede had to run interference to avoid them fighting eachother or sabotaging the job - if I'm supposed to play Blue Beret at work, I want the equipment that goes with the beret, all I'm saying. And a GRKPBV 90, please.)
Poor bull, maybe he identifies as a heifer? But happy to hear the hens and chickens are doing well - a real life-saver, that can be and lots cheaper than the larger livestock.
What's important is your brother can drive. I want to see people who has a driver's license act like they got it from a cereal box all I have to do is go down to the road and wait 5 minutes. Personally I don't drive now since my eye/hand-stuff isn't up to it, not at the speeds involved. Under 30mph is fine, as is anything tracked since with tracked vehicle the road is where you dive, not the other way around.
Well, got to go light the stove, it's +5C out, 100% humidity and that makes my bones feel like they was made from cold iron.
Nuclear war... to think we had our nuclear program once, complete with projects for nuclear supersonic missiles and shoot&scoot artillery pieces capable of rapid-firing 1.5kT nukes. If ifs hadn't been ifs, Sweden would have been a nuclear power in the late 1960s.
Though I'm glad they scrapped the training program for seals to be outfitted with magnetic explosives which the seal would clamp on the hull of an "Enemy Yellow" ship (we weren't allowed to say russian, since we were officially neutral).
Dog needs treats badly, is what that look tells me.
"Poor bull, maybe he identifies as a heifer? But happy to hear the hens and chickens are doing well - a real life-saver, that can be and lots cheaper than the larger livestock."
We have a comment of the day candidate! Well played Rikard.
When I took my driving test (the morning after the OJ Simpson Bronco chase/arrest), parallel parking wasn't part of the test in this state. My driving instructor gave it short shrift for that reason. (I probably would have failed the first time anyway, but I got lucky and had a nice lady--cue Jerry Lewis-- test examiner. I was assured the males (most of the examiners) would go out of their way to fail a longhair like me taking the test the first time. I more or less taught myself how to parallel park in Lost Angeles. If I could do that, I'm sure Brothermouth will pick it up quickly with help. I hope everything else works out, too.
Fibroids and endometriosis resulted in no children. Asshole boyfriends and poor judgement led to not trying for children. My husband (married at 51) has a daughter I got to enjoy growing up. I ache but am glad, because I was a fuckup. Am on my second great dog. I hope it works out for you. I'd offer my uterus for incubation, but alas, no longer have one.
Get your husband and brother to finish the fencing.
Good and bad things--really, you know, depends on who's doing 'em. Those moral clear boundaries--I poke holes in 'em where needed.
Everything you've written about here--for each one, there's a point where thinking does its part and then instinct on the right way to go has to get the relay baton and bring the deal home.
I was a very, very, very lucky woman in every single step of the completely unmapped road to motherhood. Do whatever is necessary as you see it and feel it and may every good force in the universe bring joy to you.
[edited for spelling]
Thank you a thousand times. More than anything else, thank you for not telling me how to feel and what to do.
People love telling infertile women what the "right thing to do" is. Absentee, accidental, and abusive moms are not granted reproductive rights by social consensus (at least, not the making part). Those of us cursed by nature and the gods have enough to deal with without finding a way to have a baby that pleases everyone else's values.
Anguish is the worst emotion ever invented.
Yep. I've sampled the whole assortment pack and it's the worst.
There is no right or wrong way to feel, you just feel. Your feelings are your own. Talking through your feelings and thoughts with a non-judgmental can be helpful. That can be hard but you are entitled to however you feel. Be gentle with yourself.
Nuclear war is surprisingly less cataclysmic than we tend to think. That’s my attempt to drop a comment that fits well with the Mouth community. How am I doing?
You've got some company:
https://colleenhuber.substack.com/p/no-lost-sleep-over-nukes
And Doc Huber is no fool.
Damn. I wanted to be original 🤷♂️
Everything was used up years ago. We are lyrebirds living in necropoli.
I am pretty sanguine myself... I am pretty sure I am out of the fallout path of everything that would get nuked.
Kind of hope I'm right in the target
Sorry. sorry and really sorry on many of those items contained therein. Good thing life is analog, the sine wave must go up at some point.
Yeah, it'll all be fine one way or another. There's a long delta between a bad day or year and life-ending catastrophe.
I am only familiar with the 70 hour rule for long haul. I know there is a longer I think 14 hour per day rule if you go in less than a 150 mile radius. Anyway. If the driver is caught violating, the driver will be sanctioned, and then the cdl that was paid for risks being worthless. If the driver kills someone while in an accident and while in violation, they are going to jail, probably for a long time.
Definitely not worth the risk.
The behavior of the company is pretty bad here. Sounds like a lawsuit waiting to happen.
The question of why truck driver vs. remote cybersecurity, I will leave for another time.
I am curious, if you have it broken down, how much it costs per egg or per chicken or however you break it out. How much feed do you need I am wondering.
Cheers.
The chicken one is relatively easy.
We currently maintain an average (with semi-regular cullling) of about 20 chickens. They consume roughly $5 of feed a week not during winter. We get about 6-8 eggs a day (but this number is increasing as they get older, all are less than 1 year old) and slaughter about 1 every two weeks.
Except for buying fertilized eggs at the beginning of a breeding run, we don't really have any other expenses with them. In the winter we'll turn on the heater in their coop so they won't shut down egg laying completely, but that's it.
If you have sufficient space for your chickens to range and forage safely, the costs for chickens after startup can be virtually zero, depending on how relentlessly productive you're trying to be.
So our costs per chicken or egg, to answer your question, would probably break out to pennies each.
Just one small thing: It's never a good time, or a good world in which, to have a baby. Never enough money. You can always talk yourself out of it. I've read your posts about this. Go for it.
I can concur. We put it off for quite a while, and honestly it didn't make sense to do so in retrospect.
Thank you. That's what we've arrived at and we're not looking back. Get 'er done.
Oh, and Hangover 1 was tears-streaming-down-my-face hilarious. 2 was okay, and 3 I stopped watching 20 minutes in.
Bmouth has only seen 1 and 2 but we're going to give them all a day in court.
I agree with husband mouth, don't work for dangerous clowns, it's not worth it
Sadly, Husbandmouth made the right decision there. I've been in supply chain/logistics for quite some time, and a company that says "Don't worry about the law thing" is a HUGE red flag. The driver is the one that ends up paying all the fines, not to mention his license being torn up when he dozes off and runs the tractor over a car or into a building. No halfway decent company should be encouraging violating hours of service rules, much less demanding it. I should know, I have worked for some merely halfway decent trucking companies.
He might want to keep an eye out for new opportunities though, as CDL drivers are still super hard to get, hence all the really questionable hires. Last I was looking (around fall 2021) drivers in eastern PA were pulling in $35+ an hour without too much trouble, and a lot more if they had some experience and special qualifications (cryo or fuel mostly).
Speaking of PA, are you in NY or PA? If the latter, and in the south central/eastern part drop me a pm and I will try and help out with the fence. I don't have a lot of prior experience there, but I can follow orders :)
You volunteering to help with the fence is mighty sweet. You are a dear man.
I may just take him up on it, too. We are pretty friendless here on Mouth Farms.
I can't blame you! I don't know many people anymore, so I have to beg for help, too. Also, it would be a great thing to shame Brother and Husbandmouth with. "Look! This nice man, that I don't even know, came to help put up the fence for the cows!" 😉😊😋
You get how I work.
It helps that that is exactly what I would do. You need help and if a good guilt trip gets you help, so be it.
Yea, the last few years have been awful for maintaining, or making, friendships. I'm happy to lend a hand and connect with folks.
Has it become that bad in the US now? It sounds bloody horrible, comparable to how things are here on some issues - Covid and vaccines wasn't and isn't one of those thankfully.
Mending fences seems the way to go!
It was pretty bad in general, but in particular we have moved a fair bit over the past few years, so had to make new friends in new areas while everyone was hiding at home, etc. The normal sorts of social stuff I might do (game nights at local stores) were all cancelled so that was out.
So yea, partially just "moving 3times in 5 years sucks" wildly exacerbated by "EVERYONE IS GOING TO DIE IF YOU DON'T HIDE IN YOUR BASEMENT FOREVER!"
Gaming is the one thing I do miss. Computers and consoles and so on i fine for some things, but to me few things can stand up to a round-table pen&paper session, or some boardgame or other in real life with people dramatising their playing pieces and moves and just enjoying the game.
And yeah, moving sucks until you've settled in. When we moved here, it was midwinter. Literally, the wife got the keys on Midwiner's Eve having driven here with here dad (we didn't have a car at the time) and our old dogs and basically a backpack of stuff and a sleeping bag. -25C to -30C and record snows that winter, and she has to spend the first night alone with the dogs in the house, no furniture or anything. Though as is tradition the previous owners had left about 500 kilos of firewood.
Next day, my brother and I drive up from Scania - more than 600 miles - and when we arrive at night we discover that the truck's loading hatch/ramp is frozen shut.
Took some work to get it open, and then we had to unload the car while the wife kept the mechanism unfrozen. Food. Bed. Morning come my brother says "God Jul" and sets off driving back to Scania where he lives - that was his yulegift to me that year!
Then we discovered almost all the houseplants had died in the unheated cargo compartment. Not to mention discovering what you've forgotten:
"Honey where's the hairdryer?"
"Mmm... pretty sure it's at your parents place? Want me go fetch it? It's just 1 200 miles there and back again."
Next year, my father in law drove here with the rest of the stuff. If you could run a car on grumbling, that'd be him.
I am just one big fucking ray of sunshine, I am :)
An opportunity to help out a good sort, use some tools to build something and pet some cows while chatting isn't something to be sneezed at!
I mean, I am not so dear that I am going to offer to drive to NY state :) (Although... if you are up by Lake Erie next time I am up visiting family I will come out and buy a coffee!)
Time was, offering help like that was the done thing, just like that. Setting a good example right there Doctor.
That's what I missed all the years the wife and I was living in cities - camaraderie and belonging, they way you do in a real community like where we live now.
Like when we had car trouble a couple of weeks back - one of the wife's colleagues immediately ask her if she wants to borrow his old car until whenever. Just like that.
Gives you hope it does.
I wasn't kidding when I said we should help each other move :)
Funny about the car thing, we replaced my wife's car two weekends ago, and then since it was raining for 5 days straight we didn't use it and the battery ran down. (One of those cars with 10^23 bloody little electric gadgets you can accidentally leave on to kill the battery.) Fortunately one of our neighbors in the apartments works from home and I had his number from our kids playing together after school. He pulled his car over and we charged up ours. More importantly, we had a good time just standing around in the rain chatting for a half hour or so. It was nice, and he definitely looked like he was feeling the better for the experience, just helping out and connecting. Good for the soul.
I regret that I have only two thumbs to give up for your reply, and your neighbour!
It's a 5 hour drive to Cleveland from here, then to NY. While I would love to meet you, and some of my other Substack compatriots, I hate being in the car that long. <--- Part of the reason I never get a vacation. 😕
I'll drive, Bandit. You can hang your head out the window if ya want to
You don't know me...I probably would hang my head out the window. 😉😊😋
Yea, I am about 5-6 hours from Erie, whole other end of the state outside of Philly. We took the family out last summer though so the girls could meet their great grandma, who is doing remarkably well for 102, go to the lake shore, see Niagara Falls, Panama Rocks, etc. Good time, and I hope to be able to make it out at least once a year with my dad to visit all the extended family out that way.
😂 We'd be meeting in the middle! I'm in Indiana. --- Sounds like a good time with family! Most of my family has died off. What's left doesn't give a big rat's a$$ about me, so I never see or hear from them.
Get a motorcycle!
Hang in there, Guttermouth and all other Mouths.
I think it's great that you are looking to expand your family. Infertility is nothing to be ashamed of. Voting for Joe Biden, on the other hand...
We always wanted to, we were just worried that conditions were always not-quite-good- enough, we were either financially struggling or lived in a bad place or someone was ill, and I saw too many kids in
really terrible situations that I kept saying "let's wait until it's even more perfect." But honestly we're at a point where our home and community are as good as can be and it's really now or never at our ages if we want to really be there as parents.
I know it's not everyone's path but creating a life, raising it up and building a legacy feel very important to my life having been purposeful.
My mother, who never wanted children, discouraged me for years. Fathermouth remains excited.
I got in a little trouble when I was 15 years old and made my mother a grandma when she was 36. Neither of my parents were excited about my teen mom status. I lived at a Salvation Army Home For Unwed Mothers (yes, they really called it that back then) and eventually became an independent, productive citizen, as did my son.
The point of my story is that there is never a good time to start a family. I take care of my youngest grandchildren and they are running me ragged. I keep telling them, “I’m too old for this shit!” but I love my little shield maidens. Although neither of my parents lived past 70, they were able to see their first grandson graduate from college. The child they were sure would curse my life ended up being a mutually precious blessing. If you want them, the right time to have kids is whenever or however it happens.
You seek truth and stand on principle. You'll be a great mother.
God bless you, Guttermouth. Keep us posted.
They say success is the best revenge, but I like the idea of Brother Mouth going to work for the unnamed delivery company Husband Mouth just left. Sounds like proof of being a licensed driver is not a big deal and Brother Mouth can gain valuable driving experience.
When working such places, never ever accept to receive or deliver unmarked envelopes said to contain X amount of money.
"Hey Charlie, you taking the red rig up to Smelly Bob's later right?"
"Yah?"
"You take this and give it to Slobodan who works there, tell him thanks and we're even from me yes?"
Do that, and surprise m-----f-----! The sum in the envelope is short, and Slobodan and Dragan and Györgi and the rest of the lads are angry. With you. Since clearly you've been dipping into the money so now you owe them.
But hey, by sheer coincidence and providence, you can fix this. Just take this packet across the border to Ib and Jens who lives right next to the church on Istedgade in Copenhagen, and bring back the duffelbag they give you.
And so on.
Good advice!
I love that idea! Sounds like he'd fit in pretty well (no license), too.
Parallel parking. I remember this instruction from my driver's ed class way back in the mid-'70s and it's served me well ever since. I even once somehow managed to PP (a Mercedes sedan, no less) when I had no more than about 12" to spare total, front-and-back. It's technical rather than feel-based, but it's never not worked. Maybe have BroMouth or MouthBro try this?
1. Pull up next to the front car, 1-2 feet away from it, until both back bumpers are even.
2. Backup up straight, slowly, no more than a foot, just until your bumper is behind the parked car's bumper.
3. Turn the wheel sharply and completely to the right as you continue to back up slowly.
4. When you, the driver, are even with the back bumper of the parked car, straighten the wheel.
5. Continue to back up, steering wheel straight, until your front bumper just clears the back bumper of the parked car.
6. Crank the wheel hard to the left and continue to back up into the spot.
7. If you do it right, no adjustment will be necessary. You'll be parked.
If you need to park deep into the spot (e.g. it's a narrow and/or busy street), you need to be close to the parked car in front when you start the process. If you can't be deep (e.g. there's a high curb, or maybe a tree, whatever), you need to be less close to the parked car in front when you start the process.
(Do everything in reverse if you're parking on the left side of the street, of course.)
My driving HS instructor Mr. Hughes gave the same instructions. Being able to execute a perfect parallel park and drive anything with a manual transmission gives me pride. And by “pride” I mean an earned sense of accomplishment, not the below the belt neologism.
As a stranger on the internet, I am loathe to wade into the emotional and spiritual pain of infertility, but I believe the community you are building here is not afraid of Truth. I, like you, I believe, am a child of divorce. There are a lot of minefields related to my parents' divorce that drew me to the organization Them Before Us, which advocates for children's needs above adult desires. Them Before Us deals with various aspects of children's natural rights and one group they serve, donor-conceived children, openly and honestly discuss the fallout in their lives from being the product of surrogacy. Though surrogacy on the surface seems altruistic, it commodifies human life. And we've all seen during the past 2½ years the terrible ramifications of belittling and even erasing the humanity of our fellow man. I feel like your description of the process you're going through, "an equally fraught journey with lots of scamming and shadiness," describes the surrogacy industry to a T. Even if the ends (a baby and two loving parents) are an absolute good, the means cannot be justified. One donor-conceived child states it as, "Donor conception [is] unlike adoption, in which adults are trying to remedy a situation for a child in need by providing a stable home life, even though that home life is separated from their biological relatives. Adoption is an institution centered around the needs of children. Surrogacy looks to me like I was bought and sold."
I understand that this is a controversial subject and it's very, very personal for you and your family. But I just wanted to say that those feelings you're having about the industry are 100% accurate and your intuition and gut are telling you so. I also agree that there are sadly shady and grubby adoption agencies out there as well. But there are also good and honest ones, where their true desire is what's best for an already-conceived child, who deserves a loving and stable home.
Thanks for the opinion.
Not trying to say how he should have jumped, having been in similar situations myself once or twice. Just saying follow your conscience, because that? You're stuck with it, in a way neither job, career or money sticks.
(One job, was me and another swede, and a bunch of polaks, romanians, and russians - meaning me and the other swede had to run interference to avoid them fighting eachother or sabotaging the job - if I'm supposed to play Blue Beret at work, I want the equipment that goes with the beret, all I'm saying. And a GRKPBV 90, please.)
Poor bull, maybe he identifies as a heifer? But happy to hear the hens and chickens are doing well - a real life-saver, that can be and lots cheaper than the larger livestock.
What's important is your brother can drive. I want to see people who has a driver's license act like they got it from a cereal box all I have to do is go down to the road and wait 5 minutes. Personally I don't drive now since my eye/hand-stuff isn't up to it, not at the speeds involved. Under 30mph is fine, as is anything tracked since with tracked vehicle the road is where you dive, not the other way around.
Well, got to go light the stove, it's +5C out, 100% humidity and that makes my bones feel like they was made from cold iron.
Nuclear war... to think we had our nuclear program once, complete with projects for nuclear supersonic missiles and shoot&scoot artillery pieces capable of rapid-firing 1.5kT nukes. If ifs hadn't been ifs, Sweden would have been a nuclear power in the late 1960s.
Though I'm glad they scrapped the training program for seals to be outfitted with magnetic explosives which the seal would clamp on the hull of an "Enemy Yellow" ship (we weren't allowed to say russian, since we were officially neutral).
Dog needs treats badly, is what that look tells me.
"Poor bull, maybe he identifies as a heifer? But happy to hear the hens and chickens are doing well - a real life-saver, that can be and lots cheaper than the larger livestock."
We have a comment of the day candidate! Well played Rikard.
Thank you!
It's with jokes like with artillery: fire enough of it and you'll hit the target sooner or later.
When I took my driving test (the morning after the OJ Simpson Bronco chase/arrest), parallel parking wasn't part of the test in this state. My driving instructor gave it short shrift for that reason. (I probably would have failed the first time anyway, but I got lucky and had a nice lady--cue Jerry Lewis-- test examiner. I was assured the males (most of the examiners) would go out of their way to fail a longhair like me taking the test the first time. I more or less taught myself how to parallel park in Lost Angeles. If I could do that, I'm sure Brothermouth will pick it up quickly with help. I hope everything else works out, too.
Fibroids and endometriosis resulted in no children. Asshole boyfriends and poor judgement led to not trying for children. My husband (married at 51) has a daughter I got to enjoy growing up. I ache but am glad, because I was a fuckup. Am on my second great dog. I hope it works out for you. I'd offer my uterus for incubation, but alas, no longer have one.
Get your husband and brother to finish the fencing.