I’m a Butthole having only just discovered your Stack today. However I may advance my status as I greatly appreciate your insight. 3 thoughts: 1) On your Dad’s hospitalization: Elderly, Anesthesia, Kidneys - you may have already discovered many AC’s with similar stories, 2) Your Mom’s Submission to the Mob: Likely to go on. I’ve had some very good “stalwart” people submit - even after adverse events. There’s a “stickiness” to this Vax Culture that’s hard for non-Vikings to overcome. Think about the history of Big Tobacco, Big Opiod, etc. This is going to be a long haul - be prepared to lose some good people who can’t process the breadth of the batttlelfield 3) Thank you - for a moment this morning I felt less lonely.
> 3) Thank you - for a moment this morning I felt less lonely.
That means an incredible amount to me. I'm glad I be that with you.
It was an important experience to me; it forced me to evaluate my rigid "us or them" thinking. Maintaining a very large population of tribe members only works if the majority of them are relatively weak-willed and conformist. It is what it is, and wishing and getting pissed about it isn't going to change that.
Only because we're wired (understandably so) to see them as gods.
Getting past that is, I think, a very important part of growing up, because just as the foundation for human interaction is our initial caregivers, having unrealistic avatars as parents interferes with our ability to see all other humans (theory of mind) as nuanced individuals.
I love my parents. They are not perfect and did terrible things, maybe more than some, but also a lot of good things, and for whatever reason, I'm wired to let the terrible things from the past go because they're my parents and tried to make it right.
When we are children and our parents tell us we have done something that is disappointing or ARE a disappointment it weighs heavily on the child. But I have this theory that as adults to say that to a parent it cuts far top deep to utter if you give one iota of care for them. I am happy to have never said it to my mom even in the darkest hours. I did say it to my dad when I called him to ask why he stole my credit and took loans out in my name. I wish I hadn't. Sometimes some things are never to be uttered. Glad you didn't say it to your mom. My husband's dad gave in and got the shot (and got shingles after each shot). I just asked my husband what he was thinking after being told. He said he was mad and disappointed. So glad he shut his trap. But he is better at it than I am.
Finally, I hope you let mom much the stables. It will keep her out of insurance decisions. Maybe. Plus... stalls mucked.
The rabid vaccinaters have put us "hesitant" (I prefer "belligerent" now) in a tricky spot; much as I want to hate on someone who openly wants me dead and celebrates anyone on my "team" who dies, I can't really return the sentiment when I have friends and family who been double or triple jabbed. I want to be right in my decision, but if I am what does that mean for the people I care about?
I've 100% been in this place for the past 2 years, so here's my thing.
Mom was a covidian before she was redpilled, and I give her a lot of credit for getting there on her own just by being open-minded enough to read the books she'd see lying around my house and, after that, the newsletters and research papers I'd sent her.
Dad came around immediately after his hospitalization, on like, EVERYthing all at once, not just the vaccines: the masks, the lockdowns, all of it. He suddenly saw it all for what it was and was as foul-mouthed about it as me.
Before that, though, they thought I was pretty fucking ridiculous.
But here's the important part: at no time did either of them treat me like shit for it. I was never banned from their homes, required to "mask up" in their presence, they weren't scared to hug me or be near me, they never wished death on me, scolded me, or browbeat me to change my mind. They were very squarely "agree to disagree" and never treated me with any less love or respect.
And that's the difference. If they hadn't, this would be a very different conversation. I'd still have done everything necessary to care for Fathermouth as his healthcare proxy, but I probably wouldn't have invited him to live with us, and I wouldn't have maintained contact with him after I wasn't needed. And the same would have gone for Mothermouth.
I do not tolerate abuse. But I HAVE to tolerate weakness and/or stupidity, because they're endemic.
I just knew something was up when I didn't get my Gutter fix. Turns out it was worth the wait. Even a delay in your writing produces an entertaining outcome. BTW, your Mothermouth and my dearly departed Mom were cut from the same cloth, I do believe.😎
"Women of a certain generation." Her mother was an incredibly formidable woman. A Catholic who married a Jew, first woman in the family to attend college, cut a muggers fingertips off with a boning knife, a first-wave feminist of the highest order. Not easy for an anxious, less formidable Mother mouth to live up to.
Another hysterical and outstanding article. I shared it with my siblings. The 5 of us grew up in a crazy household, but my parents never divorced. They stayed together until the end, bickering and loving each other to death. ❤️
I will probably catch a lot of flak for this, and this is my conservative side talking, but I think divorce has become way too much of an instant "go-to" for society, especially as we've become conditioned as a culture to flee at the very first sign of difficulty or discomfort.
Husbandmouth and I have had a very rocky marriage, but we're united in the belief that the vows we made were really serious and we don't want to break them unless someone is literally in danger (not "unsafe" as the woke use the phrase) by keeping them. I have absolutely no regrets in us sticking by each other and we are way better for it.
On the other hand, Mothermouth should NEVER have gotten married, to ANYone, let alone my father, and was pressured by the prevailing notions of the roles of women of her era, and would have been very happy being a lifelong spinster pursuing hobbies and hanging out with friends. And Fathermouth would have been way happier marrying a less anxious person who actually WANTED to marry him, specifically, instead of whoever came along to shut up her parents, and actually wanted to have many children like he did.
Getting divorced was the best thing for both of them and I'm glad the option was there. But in general I feel strongly that it's way too easy a choice and weakens the value of marriage, which is very bad for a healthy society. Like my views on abortion, I think it should be more nuanced than it is, but never really seen as cause for celebration.
"On the other hand, Mothermouth should NEVER have gotten married, to ANYone, let alone my father, and was pressured by the prevailing notions of the roles of women of her era, and would have been very happy being a lifelong spinster pursuing hobbies and hanging out with friends. And Fathermouth would have been way happier marrying a less anxious person who actually WANTED to marry him, specifically, instead of whoever came along to shut up her parents, and actually wanted to have many children like he did."
OMG! This was my Mom all the way. Somehow my saint of a father persevered until his early demise at age 54. Mom however floated through life until the age of 90.
I'm not speaking from conjecture, by the way; mom provided the evidence. They split when I was 17, so it's now been longer they've been divorced than married. After the initial shock, mom thrived; she had to figure out who she was and what her own actual preferences and interests were, which was a traumatic growth, but since then, she's had an extremely happy life and no interest in dating anyone whatosever.
Sadly, for dad, he's never really landed with the ladies since then, but not for lack of trying or merit.
Love this. Helps to hear you dealing with numbskulls that are family and friends that keep getting shots. Getting angry and frustrated does not help. This evil plan targeted all of us, the awake and asleep. The brainwashed are physically harmed and we are in a parallel area losing our minds 😢😅
I’m a Butthole having only just discovered your Stack today. However I may advance my status as I greatly appreciate your insight. 3 thoughts: 1) On your Dad’s hospitalization: Elderly, Anesthesia, Kidneys - you may have already discovered many AC’s with similar stories, 2) Your Mom’s Submission to the Mob: Likely to go on. I’ve had some very good “stalwart” people submit - even after adverse events. There’s a “stickiness” to this Vax Culture that’s hard for non-Vikings to overcome. Think about the history of Big Tobacco, Big Opiod, etc. This is going to be a long haul - be prepared to lose some good people who can’t process the breadth of the batttlelfield 3) Thank you - for a moment this morning I felt less lonely.
> 3) Thank you - for a moment this morning I felt less lonely.
That means an incredible amount to me. I'm glad I be that with you.
It was an important experience to me; it forced me to evaluate my rigid "us or them" thinking. Maintaining a very large population of tribe members only works if the majority of them are relatively weak-willed and conformist. It is what it is, and wishing and getting pissed about it isn't going to change that.
parents can grow up to be such a disappointment
Only because we're wired (understandably so) to see them as gods.
Getting past that is, I think, a very important part of growing up, because just as the foundation for human interaction is our initial caregivers, having unrealistic avatars as parents interferes with our ability to see all other humans (theory of mind) as nuanced individuals.
I love my parents. They are not perfect and did terrible things, maybe more than some, but also a lot of good things, and for whatever reason, I'm wired to let the terrible things from the past go because they're my parents and tried to make it right.
You are correct. I can’t share too much of my opinions on parenting, as I share your writings with my friends and family. I tread very carefully……🤣
I hear you, but thanks for the vote of approval. :)
When we are children and our parents tell us we have done something that is disappointing or ARE a disappointment it weighs heavily on the child. But I have this theory that as adults to say that to a parent it cuts far top deep to utter if you give one iota of care for them. I am happy to have never said it to my mom even in the darkest hours. I did say it to my dad when I called him to ask why he stole my credit and took loans out in my name. I wish I hadn't. Sometimes some things are never to be uttered. Glad you didn't say it to your mom. My husband's dad gave in and got the shot (and got shingles after each shot). I just asked my husband what he was thinking after being told. He said he was mad and disappointed. So glad he shut his trap. But he is better at it than I am.
Finally, I hope you let mom much the stables. It will keep her out of insurance decisions. Maybe. Plus... stalls mucked.
The rabid vaccinaters have put us "hesitant" (I prefer "belligerent" now) in a tricky spot; much as I want to hate on someone who openly wants me dead and celebrates anyone on my "team" who dies, I can't really return the sentiment when I have friends and family who been double or triple jabbed. I want to be right in my decision, but if I am what does that mean for the people I care about?
I've 100% been in this place for the past 2 years, so here's my thing.
Mom was a covidian before she was redpilled, and I give her a lot of credit for getting there on her own just by being open-minded enough to read the books she'd see lying around my house and, after that, the newsletters and research papers I'd sent her.
Dad came around immediately after his hospitalization, on like, EVERYthing all at once, not just the vaccines: the masks, the lockdowns, all of it. He suddenly saw it all for what it was and was as foul-mouthed about it as me.
Before that, though, they thought I was pretty fucking ridiculous.
But here's the important part: at no time did either of them treat me like shit for it. I was never banned from their homes, required to "mask up" in their presence, they weren't scared to hug me or be near me, they never wished death on me, scolded me, or browbeat me to change my mind. They were very squarely "agree to disagree" and never treated me with any less love or respect.
And that's the difference. If they hadn't, this would be a very different conversation. I'd still have done everything necessary to care for Fathermouth as his healthcare proxy, but I probably wouldn't have invited him to live with us, and I wouldn't have maintained contact with him after I wasn't needed. And the same would have gone for Mothermouth.
I do not tolerate abuse. But I HAVE to tolerate weakness and/or stupidity, because they're endemic.
I just knew something was up when I didn't get my Gutter fix. Turns out it was worth the wait. Even a delay in your writing produces an entertaining outcome. BTW, your Mothermouth and my dearly departed Mom were cut from the same cloth, I do believe.😎
PS, your real name isn't Lagertha by any chance?
No, but my SCA name was Sigrid. :)
"Women of a certain generation." Her mother was an incredibly formidable woman. A Catholic who married a Jew, first woman in the family to attend college, cut a muggers fingertips off with a boning knife, a first-wave feminist of the highest order. Not easy for an anxious, less formidable Mother mouth to live up to.
Another hysterical and outstanding article. I shared it with my siblings. The 5 of us grew up in a crazy household, but my parents never divorced. They stayed together until the end, bickering and loving each other to death. ❤️
I will probably catch a lot of flak for this, and this is my conservative side talking, but I think divorce has become way too much of an instant "go-to" for society, especially as we've become conditioned as a culture to flee at the very first sign of difficulty or discomfort.
Husbandmouth and I have had a very rocky marriage, but we're united in the belief that the vows we made were really serious and we don't want to break them unless someone is literally in danger (not "unsafe" as the woke use the phrase) by keeping them. I have absolutely no regrets in us sticking by each other and we are way better for it.
On the other hand, Mothermouth should NEVER have gotten married, to ANYone, let alone my father, and was pressured by the prevailing notions of the roles of women of her era, and would have been very happy being a lifelong spinster pursuing hobbies and hanging out with friends. And Fathermouth would have been way happier marrying a less anxious person who actually WANTED to marry him, specifically, instead of whoever came along to shut up her parents, and actually wanted to have many children like he did.
Getting divorced was the best thing for both of them and I'm glad the option was there. But in general I feel strongly that it's way too easy a choice and weakens the value of marriage, which is very bad for a healthy society. Like my views on abortion, I think it should be more nuanced than it is, but never really seen as cause for celebration.
"On the other hand, Mothermouth should NEVER have gotten married, to ANYone, let alone my father, and was pressured by the prevailing notions of the roles of women of her era, and would have been very happy being a lifelong spinster pursuing hobbies and hanging out with friends. And Fathermouth would have been way happier marrying a less anxious person who actually WANTED to marry him, specifically, instead of whoever came along to shut up her parents, and actually wanted to have many children like he did."
OMG! This was my Mom all the way. Somehow my saint of a father persevered until his early demise at age 54. Mom however floated through life until the age of 90.
I'm not speaking from conjecture, by the way; mom provided the evidence. They split when I was 17, so it's now been longer they've been divorced than married. After the initial shock, mom thrived; she had to figure out who she was and what her own actual preferences and interests were, which was a traumatic growth, but since then, she's had an extremely happy life and no interest in dating anyone whatosever.
Sadly, for dad, he's never really landed with the ladies since then, but not for lack of trying or merit.
Love this. Helps to hear you dealing with numbskulls that are family and friends that keep getting shots. Getting angry and frustrated does not help. This evil plan targeted all of us, the awake and asleep. The brainwashed are physically harmed and we are in a parallel area losing our minds 😢😅
Glad the shared perspective helps a little. It's VERY hard to reconcile your emotions about all this when there's so much justified room for anger.